Grindependence Day

Story Sent in by Wade:

Terri had a horrifying smile. And it was in all of her profile photos. She had the sorts of eyes that, when widened, you could see the whites all around the irises. And it was one of those smiles in which she used both rows of teeth and looked like she would definitely eat whatever she was looking at. Horrible.

So when she messaged me I didn't have any real desire to take her out or meet her. She seemed nice but I just couldn't get over those photos. So I wrote her a friendly but short response, hoping that it would be a quick talk before one of us just stopped talking to the other.

But it didn't stop. My one message opened a floodgate. And to make it worse, she attached additional photos of herself in every message she wrote me. And every one was of her with that joker-like grin! I didn't even write her a second message, ever. But still those emails from her kept showing up (less so now than they used to) with her grinning in front of her house or with her frightened-looking dog or at the Eiffel Tower or at the beach or with other grinning people I didn't even recognize or grinning over the same black coffee mug over and over again.

I guess I could have blocked her earlier on but then it would have looked like my profile disappeared and I figured she'd probably know I had blocked her. And besides, her messages were all really nice and very long. She was basically using my inbox as her blog. Even though I never replied, I guess she wanted someone, anyone to talk to. Even if they never talked back.

I eventually had to block her when she sent me a single email with no text but with 10 photos that were close-ups of just her grinning face. One after another after another. Most were blurry, like she was trying to eat the camera. But I just couldn't take it any more. It's my hope that wherever she's grinning now, she has found peace.


  1. I'm glad you said it before I did...

  2. Is your name Arwin? Was this lady 30 feet tall and blonde? How are you with omnipropulsion?

    1. 30 feet tall?? That's a lot of PMS...

    2. your geek cred is nil, Steve :p

  3. Once upon a time when I had a dating profile, I checked out this really weird looking guy's profile. I did not realise that the dating site let people see who had clicked on their profile. This weirdo starts messaging me over the over how because I looked at his profile I must want a date, etc. I politely told him no, I wasn't interested. He writes back and says nobody has ever replied to him before, this must mean we have a connection an should date. I stopped replying and he continued to send me messages. I read them for entertainment and never replied again.

  4. "...with her frightened looking dog."Omg,that image conjures up both laughter from the pits of Hell and an overwhelming sadness for said animal.

  5. Why do I get the feeling that Wade sent Terri an email telling her how "horrifying" her smile was, and that's why she sent all those pics?


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