At Least, Not on My Face

Story Sent in by Julius:

I promised Louise that I'd take her to one of my favorite uptown restaurants. We were both coming from downtown so we met up in a small park, walked together to the subway, and hopped on.

Our destination was several stops away. As we rode I tried to make conversation but she kept avoiding my gaze and side-stepping my questions, as if she really didn't want to talk to me at all.

As the train slowed down to stop at a station a few down from our destination, she turned and stared me right in the face. It was like I had offended her but I hadn't said anything. When the doors opened, she yelled at me, "Desenex warned you!" and bolted from the train.

I was so stunned that I didn't even follow her. The doors closed between us and whisked me uptown.

I stepped off at the next stop, grabbed a latte at a place I knew up there, then turned around and went home. I don't have any idea what she was talking about. I know that Desenex is a type of antifungal medication, but I didn't have any fungus on me that day.


  1. OP does not sound like a very fun-guy.

  2. Maybe you didn't leave her mush room on the seat next to you?

  3. OP was right to leave... why take shiitake from someone you just met?

  4. What do you call a canine magician? A labra-cadabra-dor! Wait, I think I did this wrong...

    1. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

    2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

  5. You didn't even get a chance to ask her what was wrong? You'd think she at least wood ear you out!

  6. I'm voting for "acting crazy to get out of a bad date"

  7. She was put off because OP was wearing his cordyceps.


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