But My Closet's Packed With Lingerie

Story Sent in by Roger:

I had what could be called a good first date with Emma. I took her out to dinner and a local charity dance. I think she had fun. At the end of it, she even said, "You'll call me, right?" Right!

I called her and left a message. When I didn't hear back from her I texted her. She called me back at once, and I had hoped it was to plan a second date.

Instead, she asked me, "Roger, did you go through my dresser?"

I had no idea where she lived, much less where her dresser was. I told her, "Even if I knew where your dresser was, I wouldn't go through it."

She said, "It's just I found it ransacked. Half my stuff is gone, and you're the only guy I've been on a date with in the past month. So..."

I couldn't follow her logic. I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't take your stuff or go through it."

"Are you lying to me?"


"You are. I want my stuff back. Now." She hung up. I half expected a letter to arrive from her attorney sometime over the next week, but it didn't and I never crossed paths with Emma again.


  1. My house got flooded this weekend and your story is the only one I've read recently. Did you bust the pipe under my bathroom sink? Don't lie to me. I want my soaked stuff dried and returned NOW.

  2. Now now, don't judge this girl too harshly. I think it's a safe assumption that when your panny drawer is ransacked, it's usually the guy you are dating. This has happened to her in the past, I'm sure.

  3. Replies
    1. OMG Archie! I love that video.

    2. Well done Architect - best use of that gif ever !


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