No Nun Intended

Story Sent in by Jacob:

Martha and I were having regular first-date drinks and conversation at a bar when she asked me, "Did you expect me to dress like a nun, tonight?"

"A nun? Like a Catholic nun?"

"Yeah. In a habit and everything."

"No. Why would I have expected that?"

"Just asking."

Okay then, weirdo. We went on to talk about non-nun topics for a little while until she circled back to it.

"You really didn't expect me to dress like a nun?"

"Why would I have? Is it that kind of date?"

She said, "There's a costume shop a few doors down. I can go grab one if you want."

I thought I had figured it out. I said, "This is some kind of kink thing, right?" All of a sudden, the idea of her dressing like a nun was actually kind of intriguing.

She said, "No! No. Absolutely not. Not on a first, second, or even probably third date. And never as a nun. That would be sacrilegious."

Back to confused mode, I asked, "So why are you talking about dressing like a nun?"

She said, "I honestly just wasn't sure if you were expecting me to dress like one tonight! That's it!"

"Why would I expect that?"

"You tell me!"

I said, "I give up on this. I can't follow your logic."

She said, "We're not done talking about this. Were you expecting me to dress like a nun or not?"


"Are you sure?"


"You sure you're sure?"


"Fine," she said. She then grabbed my drink and guzzled it all the way down. She then said, "Mind if we get the check? I have someplace else to be."

"A convent?" I asked, but any humor was lost on her. She was a woman on a mission, and the mission was to leave as soon as possible. And I was only too happy to let her go.


  1. I guess she doesn't make a habit of thinking! He was having nun of that. He didn't think she was very fly...ing nun. Uh...if he wanted to date a penguin he'd go to a zoo. Something, something, Chunky Horse as a nun.

  2. She probably was tired of you staring at her T&A all night, so the nun thing was a passive-aggressive way to get you to stop.

    1. That's the first thing that popped into my head.

      OP, how was she dressed? Aside from NOT like a nun.

  3. It's nice to see Sally Field getting back out in the dating world. Please tell me this is how she left your date.

  4. I don't know what that movie is, or where it came from, but I will find it. I will buy it. And I will watch it.

    1. That just tells me how young you really are Bananas. It is a clip from an actual TV show called The Flying Nun. Not television at its best by the way.

    2. It's amazing and I simply must watch it. Steve, did you expect me to write this comment dressed as a nun?

  5. Long time lurker commenting, finally. I think that this was a case of mistaken identity, like the laundry inside joke from a long time ago.

    1. Stop lurking! We need some fresh comment meat...

    2. More fresh meat for Chunky Horse, of course...

      Architect, loved the gif - it made me gigglesnort (if that's even a word)

  6. Of course, "dressed like a nun" could mean two things... Obviously, the OP took it literally, but it would not surprise me if the girl took it as a criticism for not dressing sexy enough, because she probably felt she was "dressed like a nun" on the day and was a bit self conscious about it... And paranoid!

    1. I have the opposite impression. Maybe the OP was oggling her a lot and the date was roundedly asking if the OP expected her to be wearing less revealing clothes (such as a nun habit) instead, so he wouldn't be tempted to oggle. In other words, perhaps she viewed the OP as acting as if he had never seen T&A before.


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