The Mustard Pits

Story Sent in by John:

I was at a cafe on a first date with Daisy. Early in the date she left the table for the bathroom and taken the mustard with her. She didn't explain why and when she returned with it I didn't ask questions, figuring she'd tell me if I needed to know.

Soon I smelled mustard as if it was coming from somewhere really close by. I asked Daisy if she smelled it and she said no. The smell came and went throughout our time together. But it was a smell mingled with body odor, so it smelled especially bad.

Finally Daisy said, "I'll be right back," and then she left the table again only to return a few minutes later.

I asked her, "Everything all right?"

She replied, "Yeah. Just really stupid to use mustard as deodorant substitute."

Eww. She was otherwise okay but the image of her spreading mustard around her pits was enough to warn me against a future date.


  1. Oh my god, I bet that burned.

    Vinegar is supposed to be a good substitute, mustard has vinegar in it, therefore mustard = deodorant.

    Or is that ketchup?

  2. Aw man. John Lee left me hanging!


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