The Crunchy Chair

Story Sent in by Dolores:

Last year when I was really putting myself out there, Brian picked me up for our first date. He had a Volkswagen with a pile of what looked like sports magazines in the back seat.

When I climbed into the passenger seat he said, "I'm glad you didn't sit in back. I have magazines back there."

I asked, "Why would I have sit in the back? That would've been weird."

He drove us onward. "I know. Some of the magazines are sticky, if you know what I mean."

Eep. I didn't say a word, as that effectively killed the conversation/date.

After over a full minute of silence, he asked, "Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so. Uh... where are we going for dinner?"

He was quiet during dinner and barely mumbled out two words. He offered to drive me home but I said I'd have a friend pick me up. He grumbled about that but didn't really say much of anything intelligible.

After we left the restaurant I bade him good night at the door. He asked me, "Do you want a complimentary magazine? Free with dinner."

"No. Thank you."


He shuffled away and that was the end of it.


  1. If that was an attempt at a invitation to screw, epic fail.

  2. We all know how he thought this would go.

    I'm curious how you thought it would play out. Your first clue might have been his hands on the wheel. I know you were most likely just afraid to be rude, but if a guy leads with that, I can think of things I'd rather do that stay in his car and sit through a dinner.

    On the other hand, we was really generous in offering you a mag considering how possessive he is of them.

    1. Damn you, that paper cut GIF will haunt me forever!

    2. Oh god, just watching that made me cringe.

  3. Sports huh? Best you know now cause if that's his pleasure, things might have gotten....sticky if he asked you over to watch the game.

  4. Fizziks and that photo of the hands had me laugh so hard I surprised myself, and I agree with Architect that the papercut was the kind of mental pollution even Dawn won't wash off. (smiling now after a long, hard day)


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