The Theory of Nothing

(Characters create structure. Click to find out why on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Marianne:

On the date with Edward, we went to a movie theater and bought a big bucket of popcorn but we didn't see a movie. We took the popcorn outside and sat down on a bench. He told me that he had been in the Navy. Then he did a Nazi salute. "Why did you do that?" I asked him.

"Because I was in the Navy. I just told you." He shoveled heaping handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. "Wanna see a movie?" he asked.

We went back into the theater and he asked me what I wanted to see. I picked The Theory of Everything. He went up to the window and bought a single ticket. He handed it to me and said, "Enjoy it," and then left me there.

I enjoyed the film. It more than made up for the fact that I had been dumped on the first date.


  1. ...Got nothing on that one, folks. Wow.

  2. That guy clearly did Nazi what he did wrong

    1. I'm surprised the OP wasn't Fuhrer-ous with this date.

  3. No, no, I'm sure the navy does things like that all the time!

    Ok, here's my Navy joke:
    What do you call a hula-hoop with a nail in it?

    A Navel Destroyer!


  4. He didn't say WHICH navy.

  5. Everyone's missing the real issue, which is that OP didn't look like her profile pictures.

  6. Also, Jared, what's up with that donation thing? I keep tapping money to my screen but it's still there the next day.

    1. Yeah man, I got funds set aside for you but every day, I'm looking at that dollar menu and thinking, man, what if.......


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