Ma, Che Sei Grullo?

Story Sent in by Milford:

I had a semester abroad in college and stayed in Florence. It was there that I met Gabriela. She attended the University of Florence and I met her at a party. Somehow, my broken Italian made a good impression and she and I really hit it off. By the end of the first week that we knew each other, we had fooled around more than once and were nearly inseparable. I liked her so much that I considered staying in Florence for the long term.

Alas, it was not to be. One night after I took her out to dinner and a play, we walked down a side street on our way back to my room. Three guys suddenly came behind us and one of them held me from behind and pressed me against a wall.

The next thing I heard was Gabriela screaming (in Italian), "Take him! Take him! Leave me alone!"

Thanks, Gabriela. The guys held me there for almost a minute before letting me go and running away. What struck me at once was that they didn't steal anything or demand anything at all. It was just as if they meant to hold me there as Gabriela beat a hasty exit.

...which is precisely what it was. I later found out that one of the guys was Gabriela's older brother. Gabriela had arranged the whole thing, thinking it would be a non-confrontational way for her to "let me down easy." Gee, thanks.


  1. She could have had your legs broken, stuffed you in a trunk, and driven you to a dock before fitting your for cement shoes so I say you were let down pretty easy.

    1. Hell yes, haven't you seen The Godfather OP? Just count yourself lucky Fredo and move on.

  2. How was that easier than saying "I think we should just be friends."

  3. Guess she was actually Sicilian.

  4. She still went on the date, how was this a nicer way to say no?

  5. I'm curious, did the OP ever report the attack? Since he found out who at least one of the attackers was, it should have been easy. Plus, get Gabriela on a conspiracy charge.

    Assuming laws in Florence are similar where assault is concerned.

    I also can't help but think of how many ways that could have gone seriously wrong!


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