Far From Any Road

Story Sent in by Ned:

When I was in college I met Jane. We had a class together but I didn't really have a chance to speak with her until a party we both attended. She was super hot and I made it my business to chat her up. One way or the other, we made it onto the topic of some occult legends that had sprung up about the college and the surrounding community. They were fun to talk about, even if I didn't believe most of them.

She seemed particularly fascinated by a story surrounding a local graveyard. An exorcism had gone awry and something with a demon or ghost or alien happened. Whatever it was, it enraptured Jane to such an extent that I suggested we walk there together.

It was late and we both had had a few and I wouldn't have blamed her in the least for turning me down. But to my surprise she went for the idea and we left the party to visit the old cemetery.

It was dark as dark could be. The closest streetlight was a good way down the road. Despite barely being able to see, we hopped the low wall and ambled between the stones.

After a little bit she said, "Bury me."

I laughed. "Right here? Right now?"


I said, "I don't have a shovel."

"So do your best. The ground's soft."

It was indeed nice and soft, but that wasn't the point. She sounded serious, and I wasn't sure what she was up to.

"Bury me," she said, "Come on." She knelt on the ground and tore at it with her bare hands.

I said, "I think we should go. Don't you want to go? Let's go."

She said, "You can go. After you bury me. Come on. The dead won't wait forever."

"They're actually renowned for that."

"Bury me." She pulled out a house key and lay in the tiny nook she had just made in the ground. "I'll slit my own throat if you don't." She closed her eyes, pressed the key to her neck, and said, "Ow."

I grabbed a handful of dry leaves and tossed them on top of her. "Okay. You're buried. Let's go."

She didn't move or say another word.

"Come on, Jane. Let's head back."

She didn't reply.

"See you back there." I took off, nearly breaking my ass as I hopped the wall a second time.

When I was a little way down the road, I heard her scream my name. I ran back, thinking she was stuck or had tripped or something. But she was nowhere to be found. I called around for her but there was no response. I looked up and down the tombstones, but she had just up and vanished into the woods.

I went back to the party but she never returned. Of course I saw her the next time we had class together. I was going to say something to her, but then I saw the sizable bandage across her neck. It was then that I decided not to say anything to her unless she spoke to me first. She didn't, so that night in the graveyard was actually the last time I ever interacted with her.


  1. can some1 tell me whats the deal with dating at cemeteries? it's a dealbreaker for me. u got what u deserved dude. i guess there weren't any theaters or restaurants? :\

  2. The little fish on the back of he car should have tipped you off that she was into some weird stuff.

  3. Couple a drunks in a cemetery? Sounds like a fun date.

  4. ^ For the murders that find them.

  5. A key?!? She was probably there all night gouging away at herself. He could have said, "The date is over - I'm no necro !" and left in a melodramatic fashion (she likes that I think). I'm thinking daytime dates might be a good idea, because the freaks sure come out at night.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.