Tonight I Will Sleep in Your Beard

Email Sent in by Howard:

Can I just say I love your look? You have a woodsy but clean appearance that got me to realize that I had to message you. How are you doing? I want to live in your beard. I would clear out a space and tie together the nearby hairs to make walls. The floor would be tough but I would do it. Then I would smooth out the walls so they would soon be less hair and more wall. And the floor too. The roof would be your chin. Do not make sweat go down your chin. I do not want leaks. I would have to shrink myself to

live in your beard so how would I do that? Either your beard will be too small or it will have to grow. Much larger would be unseemly so I will have to find a way to shrink myself down to beardsize. And since you are an engineer you can find me the best way to do that. Your beard will be my blanket, bed, and sky. The last surviving member of beardrace! Can that be me? Ancient society of women who live in the beard.

Your move beardman,

1 comment:

  1. Can you imagine the dense jungle of rain forest between this crazy's legs? You'd have to go in armed with a machete and some serious bug spray.

    Also, beards are awesome.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.