Story Sent in by Jan:
I like hummingbirds a lot. This came out in conversation online with Doug. Shortly before our date, he told me he had bought me a hummingbird-related item as a gift. I didn't expect such a thing, but I thanked him and he promised to give it to me on our date.
At dinner, he handed me a balled up tangle of... a bra. He hadn't even wrapped it. It was a pink bra with hummingbirds on it. And it wasn't at all my size.
"Uh..." I began.
"It has hummingbirds on it!" he said as if I couldn't see them.
I asked, "Do you really think this is an appropriate gift for a first date?"
He said, "You need bras, right? I think it's thoughtful."
It didn't even have a tag on it, so for all I knew he had picked it up second-hand somewhere.
"...thanks," I finally said, putting it down next to me on my seat.
Despite how charming he tried to be at dinner, his lack of decorum was all I could think about. He hinted that he wanted to keep hanging out after the meal, but I told him I couldn't stay out late.
Of course I tossed the bra the first chance I had. He texted me a day or so later asking me, "How do you like the BRA? Have you tried it on???"
I didn't reply and after ignoring him a little while longer, he went away.
6/05/2015
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@ JMG - Love the title!
ReplyDeleteAgain, I would love to see the thought process that got him from scoring a date with you to showing up with a bra as a gift. It was probably something like this....
You always make me laugh, Architect ! After that, my first thought was mental pollution from the late 60's of an image Robert Crumb drew of some men's perfect female - it's vague but still in my head - of a stick with breasts and butt (I can't remember if it had a mouth). That's how I imagine her date sees women.
ReplyDelete