Come at Me, Bra

Story Sent in by Jan:

I like hummingbirds a lot. This came out in conversation online with Doug. Shortly before our date, he told me he had bought me a hummingbird-related item as a gift. I didn't expect such a thing, but I thanked him and he promised to give it to me on our date.

At dinner, he handed me a balled up tangle of... a bra. He hadn't even wrapped it. It was a pink bra with hummingbirds on it. And it wasn't at all my size.

"Uh..." I began.

"It has hummingbirds on it!" he said as if I couldn't see them.

I asked, "Do you really think this is an appropriate gift for a first date?"

He said, "You need bras, right? I think it's thoughtful."

It didn't even have a tag on it, so for all I knew he had picked it up second-hand somewhere.

"...thanks," I finally said, putting it down next to me on my seat.

Despite how charming he tried to be at dinner, his lack of decorum was all I could think about. He hinted that he wanted to keep hanging out after the meal, but I told him I couldn't stay out late.

Of course I tossed the bra the first chance I had. He texted me a day or so later asking me, "How do you like the BRA? Have you tried it on???"

I didn't reply and after ignoring him a little while longer, he went away.


  1. @ JMG - Love the title!

    Again, I would love to see the thought process that got him from scoring a date with you to showing up with a bra as a gift. It was probably something like this....

  2. You always make me laugh, Architect ! After that, my first thought was mental pollution from the late 60's of an image Robert Crumb drew of some men's perfect female - it's vague but still in my head - of a stick with breasts and butt (I can't remember if it had a mouth). That's how I imagine her date sees women.


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