Laser Wolf

(Rachel Pollack; author, professor, friend, genius, tarot master, has recently been diagnosed with Lymphoma. She's awesome. Click here to help her. -JMG)

Story Sent in by Shaunna:

On my date with Marcus, he told me a bit about a pet project. "I'm in the final stages of a laser," he said, "that can burn a girl's clothes right off her body."

When he saw my look, he added, "It wouldn't injure her. That's been the hard part. But it'll only flash-incinerate her clothes. Isn't that cool?"

I asked, "What would be the practical applications?"

He said, "The ability to burn a girl's clothes off isn't cool enough?"

"Would it burn off a guy's clothes, too? Or would that require more years of development?"

He laughed and said, "It probably could, but I never really thought about it. Who would want that?"

I replied, "All the naked girls who'd want to retaliate."

That shut him up. After a few moments he said, "I guess I'd have to be really careful about who I sold it to."

"I guess."

But then his thoughtfulness once again flash-incinerated into stupidity. "Can you imagine the societal implications of being able to just denude a woman, whenever you wanted? You can't deny that's cool."

I asked, "And how are you testing this amazing device?"

He said, "Well here's the thing: I'm up to trial phase and I'm looking for volunteers. It's in a controlled setting and everything will be done respectfully. If you or anyone you know would be willing…"

Once more, he was somehow smart enough to read my look. He stammered, "I, I have big-time investors interested in this. Governments, investors… I can't name any of them for copyright reasons, but this is an exciting chance to jump in on the ground floor."

One more anxious look at me, and then he added, "It pays."

"How much?" I asked.

He said, "I'll work that out with the investors, but once I know you're interested, we can move forward."

"I'll let you know," I told him.

He was nice enough to pay for dinner and then we went our separate ways. He contacted me a few times afterward, by phone and email, to ask me about my continued level of interest in his cool project. But I was too busy keeping my dignity to make the time to reply.


  1. that's not that bad of a dealbreaker. a bit stupid sure. at least he didnt say my laser would burn all women to ash and youre next heheheh! lol :P

  2. This is why I come to this site. Every time I think I've heard them all, Chunky Horse, giving blow jobs for a ride home, having sex on a pile of trash while a twin watches twice.....now we get lasers! This is something right out of Weird Science or Real Genius. Just priceless. Also, can't get this voice out of my head.

  3. Priceless. This guy is rape culture in a nutshell.


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