Fury Road

Story Sent in by Wayne:

Back when I used to browse dating sites, I found Rachel. She worked in banking and traveled a lot but we pinned down a Friday night to go out for drinks and what-have-you. I picked a bar, we agreed to meet there, and it was a done deal.

I arrived there first and waited for her. She didn't show for a little while and I called her up to ask if everything was okay.

She replied, "Uh... yeah. Where are you?"

I said, "At Wolski's. You on your way?"

She said, "No. You said you'd pick me up."

For the record, I never once told her I'd pick her up. Why would I have? It was a first date. Would I really have asked for her address by that point, unless she told me herself?

I told her, "I never said I'd pick you up, but–"

"Oh, you said you'd pick me up."

"Okay. What's the address?"

She told me her address and I made for it. It was a middle-class house with a one-car garage in the suburbs. Once I arrived, I went up to her front door and rang the bell.

She answered the door in her pajamas. "Can I help you?"

I asked, "Rachel?"

"Yes. You're Wayne?" she asked.

"Yes. You knew we had a date tonight, right?"

"Yeah." And she looked at me like I was a moron who was interrupting her down night.

I said, "So I'm here to pick you up."

She said, "Does it look like I'm ready to go out?"

I said, "You just told me to come here and pick you up!"

She said, "Well if you're gonna be a jerk, forget it!" and she slammed the door shut.

I took a few moments to figure out what to do next. At that time, her garage door opened and she backed out a white sedan down her driveway and into the street. Her tires screeched as she drove away to destination unknown, while (I guessed) still in her pajamas.

I left and went home.


  1. she sounds like she wanted u to come in the house and do pajamas party things with her. too bad. she prolly left to another pajamas party. lol :P

  2. I hate girls who think pajamas are appropriate date wear.

  3. I'm surprised she gave her real address. Also, I wish this story would have ended with him driving back to the restaurant and seeing her there waiting for him in her pajamas.

  4. And speaking of pajamas as date wear: A few years ago i went to a onesie patry wearing a bright purple onesie. It was a work night so i cut out early and a friend of mine was DJing at a bar so I stopped over to hang out for a bit. It's about 11pm and I meet up with this girl and we get to talking and dancing and making out (hey, maybe she had a thing for a guy that shows up at a bar in a purple onesie? IDK) and soon it's 4am and the bar is closing. We go back to her place and have our fun and crash for a few hours. I get up to go to work and realize that the only clothes I have with me are this purple onesie so I've gotta run home before I go to work. Of course as I'm walking home I get a lot of random strangers commenting on my attire, asking what's up with the onesie, etc. At some point I come up with the line "I don't always do the walk of shame, but when I do, I do it in a purple onesie." That got a lot of laughs.

  5. Maybe this is deja vu but I'm sure I've made this joke before.

    Tourist keeps it real on his walk of shame.

  6. Well, ya got me. I only have about 5 interesting stories to tell. After that I start repeating myself.

    Well, ya got me. I only have about 5 interesting stories to tell. After that I start repeating myself.


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