A Stupider Creature

Story Sent in by April:

I was walking in NYC with Scott (who I met online) on our first date in February. It was super-cold and so I wasn't too surprised when we happened upon a cluster of pigeons near a subway grate. I guessed that they were there for the warmth, but Scott ran at them with flailing arms.

"Fly south!" he cried, "Fly south for the winter! All of you are pigeon meat unless you fly south right now! Fly! Fly!"

He clearly agitated the pigeons and they flew around a bit, but none of them seemed too keen on taking off completely.

After waving his arms around and acting like an idiot for a little longer he returned to me and asked, "Is there truly a stupider creature on this earth than birds who stay north for the winter?"

I replied, "The people who torment them."

He said, "Are you talking about me? Really? Are you? Because if you are, that makes you even stupider. You know that, right?"

"How do you figure?" I asked him, genuinely curious.

He muttered, "How the hell did you get matched up to me, anyway? I'm gonna find some pigeons to eat. Want anything?" and without waiting for me to answer he hurried into a convenience store.

Maybe he expected me to wait for him or follow him in. I did neither of those things.


  1. Was he expecting to find some nice pigeon steaks at that convenience store?

  2. Well, it WAS in NYC...


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