Base Bawl

Story Sent in by Porter:

I probably should have guessed how my date with Stephanie was going to go, as two of her three profile photos were of baseball trophies. The third photo was of her in a baseball uniform. But she had messaged me first and we kept up a lively conversation, even though it was mostly about her baseball career.

She asked me if we could go to a local high school baseball game for our date, but I asked her if maybe we could do coffee, instead. I'm not too into baseball, and was more than a little curious as to what such a baseball fan saw in me in the first place.

At coffee she went on and on about her baseball career, how her first word was "baseball," how she held a bat before she could walk, how she coached her high school team as a freshman...

After a while, I threw in the towel. "It sounds like you'd be a much better match for someone who's as into baseball as you are. I'm just... not."

She looked at me like she was individually processing each word. She finally said, "Is this like a... are you joking around with me?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I just don't think this will work."

She said, "You're a scout, right? With the MLB Scouting Bureau?"

"I didn't even know there was such a thing as an MLB Scouting Bureau." To be honest, I hadn't even mentioned baseball on my profile, much less anything about a scouting bureau.

She looked as if she was about to cry, then stood and left without a word. When I next checked her profile, I discovered that she had blocked me.


  1. Things I'm sure that happened:
    1. This girl googled MLB scouts.
    2. This girl went on OK Cupid looking for those MLB scouts.
    3. You happen to have the same name as an MLB scout.
    4. She lured you, the "MLB scout" into a date so she could get noticed for MLB.

    Glad you told her straight OP. I just hope she didn't take it too hard....



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