Kernel Panic

Story Sent in by Carl:

My third time seeing Elizabeth, she invited me to her place. She put out pretzels and tortilla chips. We sat on her couch and popped in a movie.

A little of the way through, I started teasing her a bit and it became a flirty pillow fight. She hit me a couple of time, I hit her back. She smacked me on the side of my face, I smacked her back right on the kisser.

She screamed and her hand went to her mouth. For the record, it was a pillow. I didn't hit her hard. In fact, a three-year-old could've brushed it off. I thought at first that maybe I had accidentally hit her at some sort of sensitive spot, but before I could even ask, she spat out several teeth.

At least, that's what I thought they were at first. I was horrified. But then I had a glance at them and saw that they were popcorn kernels.

Before I could even properly register that, she took off for her bathroom, hand still over her mouth, and slammed the door behind her. As I said, she had pretzels and tortilla chips set out. No popcorn, so I had no idea where the kernels came from. I went to her bathroom door, knocked, and even tried the handle. Locked. She didn't answer my calls to her, either. I went back to the movie, guessing that she'd return at some point.

I polished off a good amount of the snacks and finished the film and still she didn't emerge. I finally called out, "I'm going!" and I left. I hope she's okay. I never heard from her again.


  1. Not gonna lie: I was with you until you tried to open the bathroom door. Kinda creepy. Still she was pretty dramatic. This story is so corny!

  2. I can't believe you finished the movie.

  3. Those snacks must have been tasty. Girls be crazy - glad you didn't let the nutter ruin your movie night.

  4. Maybe she was pregnant and went to puke


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