Out of Tuna

Story Sent in by Pedro:

Back when I was in college I met Marie. She was really cute but quiet and shy. It took her a while to open up, but when she did I discovered an artistic, well-read young woman who had a lot more in common with me than I had thought. We'd mostly hang out in the classroom building after class and chat sometimes for a few minutes and other times for longer than an hour. Whenever I'd ask her to dinner she made an excuse or changed the subject.

One day during a conversation I again asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner. She said she'd be up for it and so we went to a pizzeria right off of campus.

I ordered a can of soda and a slice. When I asked Marie what she wanted she just ordered a soda. I said, "You're not hungry?"

She said, "I brought my own food. I'm on a special diet."

When we sat down she reached into her purse and slammed down a can of tuna on the table. "Do you have a can opener?" she asked.

I said, "Not with me. You're having just tuna for dinner?"

She rose and said, "Not if I can't find a can opener. Wait here."

She approached the cashier and asked him for a can opener. He handed her one and she came back to the table, opened up her tuna can, gave the opener back to the cashier, and sat down again.

My slice wasn't ready yet, but that didn't stop Marie from grabbing a plastic fork and eating every last scrap of tuna right from the can. "You must be hungry," I said.

"Tuna," she replied as if that was the correct answer.

My pizza was finally warmed up and I picked it up at the counter. When I sat down to eat it, Marie stood and said, "It is time for me to leave," and she left without another word.

I didn't make the time to speak with her after class anymore after that, and once that semester was over, I never even saw her again.


  1. I think she was put off by the pizzeria. Maybe if you'd have taken her to more of a Fancy Feast she might have become more Frisky.

  2. I'd bet Nine Lives that if you threw that into the Meow Mix, you'd have had yourself a Gravy Sensation.

  3. Purrfect puns ~ I have little to offer, except that....she actually behaved like a human version of a cat.

  4. You're right, she really is like a cat. Quiet but filled with personality and quirks--and of course the tuna. I just wonder what was her explanation for refusing to eat with him.

  5. Maybe he had a mustache and she was turned off by men with Whiskas (I do love a pun war)

  6. If you had to ask her out so many times before her answer was "yes"... I don't think she was really that interested to begin with.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. I agree, she just wasn't that into you to start with. Otherwise she would have yowled at the top of her voice and rubbed her rear against you like she was backing into a carport.


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