Everybody Comes to Rick's

(Behind every great story is a great premise. Click here to find out more on this week's Jared's Inkwell. -JMG)

Story Sent in by Chaia:

My first date with Colin was at a coffee shop and it went well. Our second date was at a local art gallery, and after perusing around there for a while, we took a walk in a city park close by.

As we strolled, he scratched his crotch and said, "Okay. This is going to sound a little weird. But I need you to trust me on this."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Pull my rick."

"Your rick? What's a rick?"

"You know," he pointed down to his crotch, "My rick."

I laughed out loud. Big time. "You mean your dick? And no, I don't think I'll do that."

He became irritated and said, "I'm not joking. I have a situation and I need my rick pulled. Now are you gonna do it or not?"

"No! I'm not pulling any ricks or dicks, today."

"Then why are we even out?" he asked.

"Good question. Want to call it quits?"

"I guess. If you're not gonna help me out with my rick."

I guffawed again. He said, "Whatever," and was at least gentlemanly enough to walk me back to my car before leaving my life for good.


  1. Aww shucks, OP, he just wanted to introduce His Rick to your Regina!

  2. It was probably a medical condition. I think I saw something in a science journal about this phenomenon. If only your date had given you a few reasons for why he wanted you to pull his rick, you could made up a pie chart to help you understand. Besides, you know if you pull on your rick too much, you'll go blind.

  3. ^^^--- Nicely done.

    And here I thought this story was going to turn out to be some kind of racist Asian joke. Or at least a Scooby-Doo reference.

    "Rut Roh Raggy! Rull on my Rick! Rull on my Rick!"

  4. And anyway if you're gonna pull a Rick, might as well be this one.

  5. This has got to be the most pathetic excuse to get a woman to give you a handjob ever.


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