6/13/2011

Something Sucked

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Story Sent in by Melany:

I'm a registered nurse, and have always mentioned it on my online profile, as I feel as though it's not only what I do, but also who I am.  Andrew wrote to me, he came across as a good guy, and we ultimately set up a date.

He took me out to lunch, we went for a walk, and then sat down on a park bench.  He had a great sense of humor, was easy on the eyes, and although he seemed pretty nervous, I was having a great time with him.

Not long after we had sat down, he suddenly turned serious.  "Since you're a nurse, I was wondering if you could take a look at a problem that I've been having.  I don't want to take advantage, but–"

My compassionate side jumped in.  "What's wrong?  Of course, I'll help with anything that I can, but just bear in mind that I'm not a doctor."

He said, "Can we maybe go someplace private?"

The "someplace private" he took me to was a gas station bathroom with a lock on the inside of the door.  I followed him in, and he turned to me and said, "Here, let me show you."

He unclasped his belt pulled down his pants, and let his goods hang out.  He then looked at me, expectant.

I asked him, "Uh, what's the problem you're having?"

He replied, "Well, just look at it, hanging there.  Un-sucked."  I frowned.  He went on, in a low whisper, "What should we do about this?"

I replied, "I think you need a psychiatrist, not a nurse," then opened the door, exited, and slammed it behind myself.  At that moment, a guy who had been waiting for the bathroom brushed past me, and before I could say anything, he opened the door.

What he saw must have displeased him, since he shouted, "Whoa, sorry!" and closed the door at once.

I considered waiting for Andrew, as we had a great time up until that point, but as I stood there thinking, I realized that the entire date was probably orchestrated just to lead up to that event.  I felt more comfortable about leaving and so I left.  Haven't heard from him from that day to this.

13 comments:

  1. Wow, this guy thought that the fact he made this whole story up would impress her, instead he ended up with his pants around his ankles in a gas station bathroom with an unsucked penis.

    I really don't get how people actually think this works...

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  3. The lengths that men will go to for a blowjob both amuse and depress me.

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  4. If he stays in the bathroom with his pants around his ankles, he probably would get sucked eventually.

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  5. ^ Yeah, you should have just told him you were gonna "refer him to a specialist" and asked him to wait there for a while.

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  6. You didn't see that one coming?

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  7. ^ I knew there would be something about a blowjob when I saw the word "Sucked" in the title. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

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  8. Melany, you seem like a GOOD PERSON but your douche-dar is broken.

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  9. I'm sorry, but I would have asked for more information before following a stranger into a locked gas station bathroom.

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  10. Well, it's not gonna suck itself people!

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  11. His problem is persistant, it will never go away... poor guy.

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  12. "You lookin' like a fool with yo' pants on the ground!"

    Jared (b/c I know that even though I'm a week late, you'll read this): We really need to discuss again the option of making a "Whipping It Out" tag for these stories. I think there are enough of them of make it worth it.

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