A Little Loopy

Story Sent in by Phillip:

When I was out to dinner with Iris she asked me if I was on any prescription meds. I told her I was on a pain reliever for a relatively minor sports injury but that was all.

She said, "I'm on a half-dozen meds, so forgive me if I'm a little loopy. Which pain reliever are you on?"

I told her I was on a prescription-strength ibuprofen. She replied, "Ooh! Have any here? Gimmie!"

"You want me to... give you some of my ibuprofen?"

She said, "Pain sucks and ibuprofen stops pain. So yeah. Have any on you?"

I lied, "No."

I must have been a poor liar because she said, "That was unconvincing. What do I need to do to get just one from you? Do I need to hurt myself somehow? Then you'll have to give me one. Your heart will make you do it." Then she looked around the dinner table as if searching for something with which to hurt herself.

After a moment, she grabbed her spoon and rapped her knuckles with it a few times. "Ow, my knuckles!" she said, "Have anything to help me?"

"No," I said.

She sighed, "You're lame. I'm gonna go get some from the drug store, then. Be right back." She stood up and left me there. There was a drug store really close by, so it was certainly possible that she ended up there. But she never came back, so I have no way of knowing.


  1. Luckily, she's adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep her mind, you know, limber.


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