Shady Business

(What makes a story or a character larger than life? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Casey:

Tori's ears were pierced from top to bottom. It was clear in her profile photos that this was the case and I didn't have any kind of problem with it.

When we met at a sports bar, she seemed to have twice as many earrings as her photos had indicated, if that was even possible. "Awesome earrings," I told her.

She stared at me like I had just said the most awful thing in the world. "I told you that talking about my earrings was off-limits."

She had never said such a thing in any email, text, or phone call. "You never said that," I said.

"I can't believe this," she said as she gathered her things and stood.

"Where are you going? Why are you leaving?"

"You're ugly and fat!" she screamed at me and then she stormed out. In her rush to leave my ugly fatness, however, she left a sunglasses case on the table. I checked inside and a nice pair of shades were indeed within.

A few ideas came to mind. I could call her to let her know she had forgotten them, I could leave them with the bartender in case she came back to find them, or I could take them with me and drop them off at a Salvation Army donation center on my way home.

I hope that whoever wound up with them is a nicer human being than she is.


  1. So.....you stole her sunglasses. That was definitely the right thing to do. For reals.

    I wish she had called you a "big fat stupidhead". Then you could have told her all about how you're rubber and she's glue.

  2. Why would Tori have lots of earrings and refuse to have people talk about them?

    Why would Casey steal her sunglasses out of spite?

    Sometimes I don't understand my fellow humans. :P


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