So Duh

Story Sent in by Russell:

My first date with Marcie was at a Starbucks (my suggestion). I should've known there was going to be trouble when we placed our orders at the counter. I asked for a coffee. Marcie asked for a Diet Coke.

The friendly barista said, "Sorry, we don't carry Diet Coke."

Marcie asked, "You don't carry Diet Coke?"

"Sorry, no."

"You don't carry Diet Coke?"


Marcie turned to me. "This place doesn't have Diet Coke." She turned to the barista, "Do you have Diet Pepsi?"

"No. We're not that kind of establishment."

"What the f#ck!?" she blurted, turning a few heads. The barista nearly swooned.

I suggested, "They have mochas. Those are good."

"Fine," she said, "I'll have one of those." The poor barista seemed relieved.

When we sat down with our drinks, Marcie handed me her mocha. "Will you drink this for me?" she asked, "I want to go fill it with some Diet Coke."


"Yeah. You want it or not?"

I drank her tall mocha. She left the store with the cup and sure enough she came back a few minutes later with the cup in hand. "Found a convenience store," she told me, "Filled it with Diet Coke. The morons here probably won't ever know."

"Ha. Probably."

Last date.


  1. You were the bad date. First, who offers to go to Starbucks on a first date? Any guy that suggests coffee for a first date is getting a big fat NO from me, I think that is so lame. Offering Starbucks comes across as you wanting to go on the cheapest date possible by spending $5-$6 at the MOST. So yea, I think she just wasn't that interested in you and decided to act psycho.

  2. I can't tell if Miranda is serious or being sarcastic.

    Coffee is a perfectly reasonable low-pressure first date. It means getting a chance to talk with someone without having to worry about dinner whores or schedules. If you hit it off, you can decide to extend the date with a movie or dinner or whatever. And if it turns sour, you can escape without raising a fuss. Great starter date for someone you don't know very well. That's why it's a staple.

  3. Yes sarcasm and my sense of humor is hard to tell sometimes with online postings, maybe I should have worded it different. Yes I was being sarcastic about mostly everything except for the end part. I honestly think a big majority of these stories here is from one person not being interested and going to extremes to get out of the date instead of acting like an adult and coming straight out and saying "I'm not feeling this, I'm sorry, but before we go too far into the date I wanted to tell you this to not waste my time or yours, good luck in your search"!

    So yes, no sarcasm, I agree with you that coffee is a good starter to make sure you would be interested enough to continue to dinner, a movie, etc..

  4. Sarcasm is often hard to detect in text. My writing teacher always recommended to avoid doing that.

    Who on earth has a problem going to a coffee place on a date anyway? Coffee's awesome!

  5. 'The barista nearly swooned.'


  6. Really makes you wonder what they put in Diet Coke. I know people that would cut their own mother for a Diet Coke. Or your mother. It's me.....I would cut your mother for a Diet Coke.

  7. A customer should always get what they want.


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