6/13/2011

What's the Matter, General Tso? Chicken?

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Story Sent in by Reuben:

I wrote to Sarah over a dating site.  We spoke for a week before she wrote that she wanted to meet me in person.  I asked her what kind of cuisine she liked, and she replied, "Asian."  I knew a great Japanese place, gave her the address, and we met there.  Apparently, I never specified that the cuisine was Japanese in particular.

As we walked up to the restaurant together, after having met in the parking lot, she said, "I remember asking you to take me to an Asian restaurant, but whatever."

I replied, "Japanese is Asian."

She said, "I meant Chinese.  Whatever, though.  Japanese is fine."  She rolled her eyes and sighed.

I said, "We can do Chinese.  If you wanted a specific cuisine, then all you had to do was tell me."

She said, "Whatever," again, and pushed head of me and walked inside.  I considered the matter settled, and we were seated a few moments later. 

When the waiter came to take our orders, Sarah said to him, "I'll have General Tso's chicken."

The waiter replied, "I'm sorry, we don't carry General Tso's.  We can do the types of chicken that are in the menu."

She shrugged, put the menu down, and said, "Okay, then I'm not hungry."

I wasn't about to argue the point.  I had given her the opportunity to switch restaurants, which should have been enough.  Instead of giving her the slightest bit of attention, I said to the waiter, "I'll have a rainbow maki and avocado roll."

He nodded, then turned to Sarah once more and asked, "Nothing for you?"

She replied, "Maybe a date that listens to me, for once."

I said to the waiter, "Can I have that order to go?"

He nodded again and I excused myself from the table to go wait at the bar.  Sarah followed me.  Just after I sat down, she jabbed my shoulder from behind and hissed, "Why are you acting like this?"

I replied, "I'm doing you a favor.  The date's over.  You can go home."

She replied, "I thought we were having dinner together."

I said, "You didn't order anything for dinner, and you insulted me for no reason.  Date's over.  Have a good night."

She replied, "So you're just going to throw all of our time together in the garbage?"

"Less than two weeks?  If you're going to behave like that?  Yes."

She scrunched up her face, punched me in the shoulder, and left.  On the plus side, I had delicious sushi for dinner, and best of all, it was without her, and it was Asian.

8 comments:

  1. As if punching you in the shoulder would suddenly make you change your mind.

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  2. "I'm acting like a Grade A bitch and you're not indulging me, you're such an asshole!"

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  3. Kudos to OP for getting as far as he did. I would have left her in the parking lot after the first "whatever".

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  4. The shoulder punch was clearly a "Hey, I'm only kidding" move; If a woman really hates you she slaps you in the face, kicks you in the ball, or stabs you

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  5. This deserves to be under Cheery, along with the date who dialled the police on his bad date.

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  6. "Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... and he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian."

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  7. Why women act like this is beyond me...

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