How I Roll

Story Sent in by Jeff:

In one of our later emails, April asked me out on a date. "When was the last time someone took you out to dinner?" she asked. I couldn't remember, and although I argued that it wasn't at all necessary or expected, she insisted on taking me to dinner and paying the whole tab. Who was I to refuse? I gratefully accepted.

At dinner, we looked through our menus. She asked me what I wanted, and I picked out a soup and a sushi roll that I thought looked good. The north star maki.

"That looks good," April echoed my thoughts.

When the server came to take our orders, April ordered what she wanted. Then she said, "And he'll have the Minnesota maki and a seaweed salad." April then handed our menus to the server and the server took off.

Thing was, I wasn't going to order the Minnesota maki. Or a seaweed salad. I was going to order a soup and the north star maki. For the record, both rolls cost about the same.

"I was going to order a soup and the north star maki. Why did you order me something completely different?"

She said, "Because I'm paying."

That wasn't a real answer, and I patiently awaited further explanation.

She went on, "Because I want you to eat what I order for you. Hello? I'm paying. Remember?"

"Yeah. I didn't realize that obligated me to order certain things. And hello? It would've been nice if you mentioned that when we sat down. Why'd you even ask me what I wanted?"


I wasn't going to press the issue with further words. When the server came with our food, I asked her, "Could I also have a soup, please?"

"No!" April said, "No soup! I told you."

I continued to press the server. "I'll take a miso soup. Thanks."

The waitress asked us, "Anything else?"

"Cancel that soup," April said.

"Don't cancel it," I said, "I want the soup."

The server, perhaps in a hurry to not be around us any longer (I couldn't blame her) hurried off.

Not long after, she arrived with my soup. April said, "If you taste so much as a drop of that soup, then we're splitting this."

I tasted the soup. It was great.

April said, "And I won't go out with you again."

I drank the whole soup down. Yummy.

The Minnesota roll tasted fine, and I even picked at the seaweed salad. But poor April was curt with me for the rest of the date, and we never ended up out together again.


  1. You all knew this was coming.

    As a guy, I know if I want to get my ass kicked, I should order for my woman. "No no honey, I'm paying. You'll have what I say you'll have and like it." How does this chick even begin to think this is ok? I guess because she's paying.

  2. I really think people like this should be searching for submissives on some S&M dating site instead of taking innocent bystanders out on crazy dates. He did well.

  3. I don't know how April was raised, but I was taught that when you offer to pay for dinner, you forfeit the right to object to what the other person gets. If you can't afford what your date is getting, you make it clear ahead of time "don't go crazy". Also, if you act like a massive bitch, trust me, "if you don't do what I say, I'm not going out with you again" is an empty threat.

  4. She actually wanted him to have the Minnesota roll because it tastes exactly like her vag. Get him acclimated and hankering for more.

  5. ^ Good thing she didn't order him the Cleveland Steamer roll then!

  6. Haha she sounds totally psycho, wow, how did you stay for the whole date? I would have took off if a guy talked to me like that, but with being female, any man that is so demanding on a date is a sure sign of an abusive, controlling person. I actually do like when a guy orders for me, as long as they order what I want, I think it is a gentleman thing to do, but I'm old fashioned like that.

  7. I've often ordered for my dates and picked up the check. The word emasculate has popped up a few times over the years but at least I let them pick out their own meal. So I have that going for me :)

    1. That's different. You let the other person chose what they want and you just tell the server what they want. I've had my husband pick between two things for me when I couldn't decide but that's my choice.


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