The Battle of the Five Parties

Story Sent in by Marc:

In college, I had a date with Shawn on a Tuesday night. It went well and that following weekend my friend Sandra was throwing a party that I really wanted to attend. I mentioned it to Shawn and he said he was game. He even said he'd pick me up so we could arrive together. Nice!

Pick me up he did, and he drove me to a party... only not the one about which I had told him.

"This isn't Sandra's," I said.

"It's the party I want to go to," he said.

I didn't know anybody at this party. It was in a seedy area. I didn't want to be there. I said, "You said it was cool if we went to Sandra's."

He said, "Let's hang out at this one for a bit, then we can go to Sandra's."

We hung out at this shady party for a little while. People were crazy drunk and then someone broke out the pills. I told Shawn that I really wanted to go. He said that he was having a good time, even though he wasn't drinking or popping anything.

Finally, I gave him an ultimatum: we leave or I leave.

He made a fuss but ultimately drove me to a party... another one that wasn't Sandra's.

"Take me to Sandra's!" I told him, "You said you'd go there with me."

"I just want to check this place out," he told me.

This other party wasn't as crazy as the first one but it was super lame. As in people actually just drinking tea and sleeping on couches kind of lame. I asked Shawn, "Do you even know anybody here?"

He said, "Some of my friends were supposed to stop by. We'll wait here 'til they do."

Right. Sure. Whatever. I called Jacob, a friend of mine who I knew was going to Sandra's, and explained the situation to him. I asked him if, out of the goodness of his heart, he'd pick me up.

Jacob spun by, picked me up, and took me to Sandra's. I felt a little bad about leaving Shawn at snore-fest, but I wanted to be at Sandra's, he told me he'd go there with me, and it seemed as though the only way I'd make it there would be without him.

I had a great time at Sandra's. I was there for a little bit when Shawn texted me, "Come outside."

I texted him back, "Come inside."

When he didn't reply to that, I went outside to see if he was there. He was. He said, "This party looks stupid. I know a better one."

I said, "The first one you took me to was too crazy, the second one was more boring than my aunt's porcelain figurine collection. I'm really happy right here."

He said, "I need you at this other one. I promised my friends you'd show."

I said, "How far is it?"

"Just a couple blocks. You can go in, go right out, and I'll drive you back here. Everyone wants to meet you. I told them all about you. Come on."

Taking the bait, I told Sandra that I'd likely be back shortly, I jumped into Shawn's car, and he drove me more than a couple blocks away to a party where there were a bunch of people clapping in time with two guys playing ukuleles. No one there seemed interested in even speaking to Shawn, much less me.

I took him aside and asked him, "Who are these people?"

He said, "The Christian Fellowship. Isn't this tight?"

They were cordial, but no one made us feel altogether welcome. I asked Shawn, "I thought you said they 'really wanted' to meet me."

He said, "I figured they would. Dunno what their problem is. We can leave if you want. Have our own party tonight, I guess."

I said, "Maybe you can drive me back to Sandra's and we can just have a good time there, together."

"No!" he almost shouted, "I'm not going to Sandra's! You're like obsessed with Sandra! Why don't you just marry her, you love her parties so friggin' much?"

"It's more fun than any two of what you brought me to, tonight! If you don't drive me, I'm walking."

He said, "Fine! Walk!" Attention was drawn our way and Shawn turned to the Christians and said, "He's going to walk to Sandra's! Let's all make fun of him!"

No one made fun of anybody. I walked a half-hour to Sandra's and she embraced me again with open arms. She and I are still friends. Shawn and I? Not so much.


  1. Still friends, then why don't you just marry her already OP! GOD!

    Seriously though, this guy was nuts. Seriously, who knows that many parties to go to? I think he just drove around till he found a house with a bunch of cars and heard music. But the last one was his mistake. Should have realized that thumping base line was Kumbaya.

  2. "who knows that many parties to go to?"

    If they were in college, there were probably notices for meetings and/or parties posted up around campus. The weirdo probably just went through them and picked out the ones he thought it would be fun to gatecrash.

  3. Still, why couldn't he warn his date ahead of time he was doing this? Was this a lame attempt at being spontaneous?


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