12/11/2014

25 Things I Hate about You

Story Sent in by Edith:

David was a 30-year-old who took me out to dinner. His first question was, "How old are you?"

I was taken aback by his rudeness, but relented and told him the truth: that I was 25.

"Twenty-five? Oh my God."

"What's wrong?" I asked him. Was I too young for him?

He said, "You're like my mom's age."

"Your mom is 25?"

He said, "She was, once. Damn."

I had nothing to say to that. After a few moments, he shook his head at me, laughed, and said, "Damn! I can't believe it. Twenty-five."

I offered, "I'll be 26 next year."

He put a hand to his head. "Oh my God."

The waitress came by and asked us for our drink orders. I ordered a diet soda. He ordered, "The stiffest drink you have. Wow. Okay."

She came back with some serious mixed drink, and he downed it in two gulps. "You're 25. I love how you can be so nonchalant about it."

"I guess I don't really understand the big deal. You were 25, once."

"Yeah, but that was totally, like, five years ago. You're not just 25. You're like really, really 25."

"I really, really am. So how was your drink?"

"Don't change the subject, 25. What do you do for a living?"

He knew this. "I'm a librarian."

"Exactly what a 25-year-old would say!"

I sank myself into the menu. Not long after, the waitress came by for our orders. David pointed at me and told the waitress, "She's 25. Holy God."

The waitress said to me, "You look younger than that," with a smile.

I had the sudden realization that the waitress was treating me better than my date. As such, I told her that I was all set with my soda. David ordered something I've forgotten. Once the waitress was gone, I put down a couple of bucks and told David that I had somewhere to be that I had completely forgotten.

David said, "Just like a 25-year-old. What'd I tell you?"

He laughed. I pity-laughed. Then I left him there.

6 comments:

  1. David had every right to be upset! He was thinking back when he was 17, you were 12 and that's totally an illegal age difference forever. Just like a 25 year old not to think of that, amirite?

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  2. ^ Agreed, 25 is definitely the new 12. I'd think most 30 year old guys would be pretty stoked to be on a date with a 25 year old. Also, what was up with that comment about his mom? Just remember OP, enjoy it while you can, because a pretty face just doesn't last.

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  3. That Story seems to be funny and i don't think it is related to the Online dating it definitely related to the comedy story! That men was thinking a 25 year old girl as his mom! and he is now dating his mom's age "Girl" !

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  4. ^ When I read that, my brain hurts.

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  5. ^^ Seconded. We are all dumber for having heard that.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/0.gif

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  6. Tisk...this is so a story that a 25 year old would write!

    ReplyDelete

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