Swimming Fool

Story Sent in by Charles:

On our second date, I took Lilly to a local pool. We swam around a bit and had a good time.

At one point, I was swimming underwater and popped up to the surface and looked around. There was no sign of Lilly. Next thing I knew, I heard Lilly scream, "Yee haw!" and then a painful mass slammed into my head from above. Lilly had jumped on top of me, nearly breaking my neck.

I wasn't ready for it and thrashed to the surface, gasping. "What were you thinking?" I asked her, half-yelling, "Don't ever do that again! Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

She said, "I was just having fun. Chill out. I won't do it again."

No apology or anything. She was just having fun. Idiot. Well that was fine. I did my best to forget about it and we swam around and talked a bit more, as if it didn't happen. Then I decided to do laps.

When I came up after a few, I looked around for the missing Lilly again. Next thing I knew, she flopped on top of me once more from poolside. I only had time to inhale before she crunched against me.

She cackled and laughed. Oh, how she laughed!

As for me, I pulled myself out of the water, grabbed my towel and things, and took off without another word. I just wasn't having it.

She didn't follow me out or anything, but as I drove away, she called my phone. I didn't answer and she left a message. She said, "Hey Charlie, I hope you're okay. I don't know if you remember but you just left for no reason. What are you up to? Anyway I'm at the pool. Just hanging out. Yeah. Let me know if you're coming back."

That was the message. I didn't call her back, and that night she called again. I let it go to voicemail and the message she left was, "I love the way your body shatters when I smash into it."

No more messages arrived after that.


  1. LOL no mercy Architect ! He was essentially date-uh....assaulted. More and more I read about these dates where the date is like a five-year-old crashing their newly-weighted bodies into innocent bystander's legs and hurting them. Tis a violent world it is !

  2. ~ and - (shaking head) that is one great gif Architect !

  3. ^ ;-) Been saving that one for a special occasion. And lo, Jarrrrrred doth provide.


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