Story Sent in by Amos:

While out at a restaurant on our first date together, Lauren asked me if I could identify a tune if she hummed it. I told her to give it a try.

She was a nice girl, but was the worst hummer in the world. Every note she hummed sounded like the same note, over and over. When she stopped humming I guessed, "Beethoven's fifth?"

"No," she said, "Try again."

She hummed again. It sounded faster than the first time and no less indecipherable. I really didn't know what it was.

"Beethoven's sixth?" I guessed, trying to be funny.

"No!" She said, more exasperated than she had to be, "One more time."

She hummed once again, just as bad. I was ready to try a different game or conversation or any non-humming activity at all. Once she was done I said, "I guess I'm just not that good at identifying music. What is it?"

"Come on. You know it." Then she hummed again.

"I don't know it. Tell me."

She wouldn't. She just kept humming. For the entire rest of dinner. It was basically me repeating, "Just tell me" and her humming again. We wasted so much time with it that when the check came, I realized I had hardly learned anything new about her at all. Well, except that she was nuts.

I paid the check and she thanked me. Then she went right on humming a little more then said, "If you don't guess it by the time we leave, I'll tell you."

We left moments later. She told me, "It's My Heart Will Go On from Titanic."



"Oh. I hate that song."

She looked aghast and said, "Why didn't you tell me? If I knew that, I wouldn't have spent all that time humming it."

"Because I didn't know that's what you were humming."

"But I hummed the exact tune. How couldn't you tell? You should have your ears checked."

"Yep. I will."

My ears were fine, but what was between her's was in question. No second date.


  1. Just...absurd. Other than asking her to stop humming, OP handled it as best he could.

  2. Like a wind instrument missing the reed, maybe she needed a proper instrument in her mouth to do the song justice. A skin flute maybe?


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