Flash Drive

Story Sent in by Lisa:

Ralph was a college dropout who fancied himself a software engineer. Somehow I wound up on a date with him at a restaurant. We had met online and on our date he said, "I'm such a good programmer that I programmed you into existence!"

"How do you figure that?" I asked.

He said, "You didn't exist before I programmed you up on the dating site. Now you have to obey your programmer master."

I giggled nervously and told him, "I think you'll find me a rebellious program."

"I know what will tame you," he quipped, "Look under the table."

I did. He had whipped his dick out and was flopping it around with his hands.

I cried out and stood up. He said, "Sit. Your programmer master demands it!"

He was kind of splayed out a bit, and anyone walking by could've seen his "hard drive." I said, "Put it away and I'll sit back down. Put it away, now."

He did. I left on the spot.


  1. Seriously, he "programmed" you into existence? Did he at least put a little effort into his creation? It sounds like this loser didn't know a thing about you. But I think you definitely left him with something to think about.

  2. Hard drive ? Or more like a floppy disk ?


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