6/26/2014

Rock, Paper, Scary

Email Sent in by Marlene:

HOLLA. I am ROCK. You are SCISSORS. You know what this means?

I like your profile essays. I'm probably the only guy who actually reads them. You are a conductor? Can I come see you conduct sometime? Are you made of METAL? That would make you SCISSORS but I have already claimed ROCK. This means that I will pulverize you into the dirts. Maybe PAPER will save you but PAPER DOES NOT CONDUCT.

I have now mentioned THINGS. Which would you most INSERT?

Hope to hear from you soon.

Ted

8 comments:

  1. This one is just too much for me. Fizziks, do your thing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Hope to hear from you soon."

    0_o wut

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahah ! It fried me too ! Hah simple as that - still was the best laugh of my day, ta :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. How to get girls:

    1. Mention THINGS
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT !!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. @MrKikkeli -- I have the feeling that the INSERT is not even sexual here; it's like a mad-libs style form he has and all the CAPS are where he alters it and he missed that one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't understand this at all what is going on here?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the "insert" wasn't sexual because most of the crazy sexual posts are a lot more blatant than this guy. This guy is talking crazy but I don't think it's even about sex.

    LOL @ Fizziks "Take your top off" - reminds me of this story a friend told me - She told me she was at a party and a guy chatted her up and they were talking about the DJ and the music and he says "well show me your boobs!" and she is very free-spirited type and thinks "eh, why not?" So she pulls her shirt off and he just stares at her for a second and then leans in and says "I said show me your MOVES, like your dance moves."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Reading just the capitalized words is like some sort of surreal poetry.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.