Hard to Know

Story Sent in by Richard:

During dinner with Monica, she asked me, "Do you think coffee helps or hurts an erection?"

It was a surprising question as just a moment earlier, we had been talking about international travel. I told her, "I don't know. I can't say it's ever hurt me."

She laughed and said, "I had a boyfriend who couldn't do it for 24 hours after drinking a cup. It was pretty hilarious to watch him try to do it."


"Not for him," she laughed, then pulled out her phone and made a call right there at the table.

"Hey Brett," she said into the phone, "How's your penis?"

Presumably, Brett gave her all of the details, as she said "Uh-huh" and, "I see," a few times over the next minute. She then switched him to speakerphone.

I heard a guy's voice say, "...otherwise good. I have an appointment next week. And of course, I've been avoiding coffee."

Monica laughed so hard at that. She said, "Thank you!" and hung up on him. Then she put her phone away and asked me, "So what do you think?"

"About international travel?"

"No. Brett's penis."

I said, "I'm sure it's excellent. Where do you want to travel next?"

"Brett's penis," she said, then cackled into more laughter. I couldn't help but smile, myself. Mostly because I knew that I'd be perfectly fine going home alone that night.


  1. "Do you think coffee helps or hurts an erection?"
    Acceptable answers:

    Mine or yours?

    Depends on if it's hot or not.

    Let's find out.

  2. This story is great. Not only does it have a woman who can randomly bring penis into a conversation (we have way too many stories of guys randomly bringing up sexual stuff) but we also have a guy that when randomly called by his ex asking about his penis that instead of saying "uh, it's fine, why?" actually goes into details about it. Why did these two break up? They're perfect for each other!

    But in keeping with my shtick of linking retro-stories, I give you cloud-penis girl.

  3. I bet Brett's not really an ex.


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