Soft, Fluffy, 'n Broke

Story Sent in by David:

I was training for a half-marathon with a group and Vicky was among them. I asked her if she wanted to run together and grab dinner one weekend, and she said yes.

She suggested a particular park to run in and when we had had about enough, she jogged us up to the grounds of what can only be called an estate. It was a massive, beautiful house with well-maintained gardens and statues.

"This is someone's house," I said, a bit nervous to be trespassing, "Do you know these people?"

She laughed and said, "This is my house. Come on in and shower. Then we can have dinner."

I was astounded. I showered in a beautiful bathroom, and she provided me with the fluffiest towels I've ever seen. Once we had both showered, she asked me where I wanted to go for dinner.

I suggested a Chinese place in the city. She said, "Not good enough. Try again."

I listed off about a dozen nice local restaurants, none of which were "good enough" for her. She ultimately said, "None of those are good enough. Guess we're left with Canlis."

Canlis is a very expensive restaurant. I asked her, "Are you sure?"

She said, "Sky's the limit! Let's have some fun!"

I wasn't planning to spend a lot, but everything was expensive there. Plus, Vicky ordered drinks. When the check came, my wallet nearly exploded. I asked her if we could split it.

"Split it?" she nearly spat out her wine, "This is a date!"

I said, "But you were the one who wanted to come to a place that charges almost $10 for three French fries."

"Your suggestions sucked. If you're not paying for me, I guess that's fine. Just don't expect to be invited back to my mansion. Or use my towels again. Ever."

Fair enough trade to save hundreds of dollars. We split it and never went out on another date. I guess it was worth it to experience that towel.


  1. Tourist how can she be fat, if she among the gorup training for a half marathon?

  2. "Split it? This is a date!"

    I have never, ever understood this. Ever. Surely that's exactly why you'd split it, not why you wouldn't. Anyway, Vicky clearly is better off, so why isn't she the one paying if splitting the bill is anathema to her? I just don't get why you'd expect someone with less money than you to buy you a free meal just because you're female and he's male. Hasn't anyone told her women are allowed their own money now?

  3. Fat people can run too, Blue. You should see how fast I run to free donuts. ;-)


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