But I Burst with Gooey Nougat

Story Sent in by Cheri:

Blake was an unfortunate blind date who I met up with in a hotel parking lot (his idea). We ate at the hotel restaurant during which he mercilessly poked at his food with a fork while wearing the intent, bug-eyed look of a psycho killer.

I wanted to attempt conversation with him. I really did. But something in the way he repeatedly stabbed at his mashed red potatoes with a smirk gave me second thoughts. Still, I asked him the occasional question and he gave me the occasional answer.

Once he was done poking at his food, he looked up and asked me, "Are you chewy?"

"...as in Chewbacca?"

"As in chewy. You know. Chewy."

"I, um, I think I'm okay."


He paid the check when it arrived and then asked me if I wanted to go on a boat ride in the nearby harbor, where apparently boat rides were offered. I bowed out, went home, and double-checked that I locked the door behind me.


  1. Kee-ripes! Just reading that story frightened me.

  2. I hate to invoke the mundane here, but given that he'd just been poking at his food, it seems more likely that he said something like "Is yours chewy?" and she misheard him.


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