There Will Be Blood

Story Sent in by Paul:

Everything went great with Ava. We met online, talked for a while, and went out on a good date. I kept her laughing the whole time, and I had fun too. During a game of bar trivia, she asked me for my address. She said she wanted to send me something. I thought nothing of it and gave it to her.

Afterward, we had a couple of drinks and kissed goodnight.

Yes, everything went great with Ava.

A few days later, a letter arrived at my house. When I opened it up, it was a sheet of paper with a picture of a white heart with a thick pale reddish-brown outline. I realized in an instant that it was blood. It was signed (in pen) "Ava."

I didn't ask Ava out again.


  1. Also, just for fun, here is the proof.

    And also, just for fun before Fizziks beats me to it!

  2. OP, what's WRONG with you? Your date was bleeding and you didn't help her?!? I would have emailed her back a heart made out of bandaids.

    Of course, I would have signed it "You're crazy" but at least it would help her stop the bleeding. What can I say... I try to be a gentleman!

  3. OP, a really gentleman would have sent back a heart drawn with poop to let her know you go three holes.

  4. On a forum once, one of the members started bragging about all the love spells she knew. That was one of them.

  5. Sure you read it correctly Ellendra? A heart drawn with poop is actually a very special love smell.

  6. Looks like our amigo Paolo dodged a bullet. Chick was the Empress of Crazytown.


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