Court Date

Story Sent in by Eileen:

The way my date had been planned with Roland, we were supposed to go to a local petting zoo (that I hadn't visited since I was a little kid) and then do dinner.

Roland had other plans, though. While we met at the petting zoo and had a pretty good time there, when we were about ready to go to dinner, he said, "Could we make a pit stop before we eat?"

"Sure. Where?"

"Just follow me. I promise it won't take long."

I followed him to a police station. He parked his car, got out, and lit up a cigarette.

"What are we doing here?" I asked him.

He said, "I have some way overdue speeding tickets. They're probably going to arrest me. I guess I wanted you here for moral support."

I had no idea what to say other than, "Good luck."

He offered me a cigarette and I declined. He straightened out his clothes and strode into the station. I was back in my car and about to pull away when he ran out of the station waving his arms in my direction. He ran up to my car and said, "Good news! They're just fining me. Let me take care of this and then we can go to dinner."

Twenty minutes later, he emerged from the station and made for his car without even looking at me. Assuming we were still going to dinner, I followed him to a fast food place. I was expecting somewhere nicer for our date, but he cleared things up once we were out of our cars: "The fines were so high that this is all I can afford. Sorry."

I don't like fast food, but to humor him I went in and ordered a salad. In his defense, I guess, he paid for it. Still, he was in a pretty foul mood the whole time. I saw to it that it was our only date.


  1. OP, is there a reason you couldn't have maybe treated HIM to dinner, seeing as he probably just paid a lot in fines? Maybe he would have been in a much better mood with the refreshing gesture. And you could have went to any place of your choosing,

    Oh, that's right, you're a dinner wh0re... A free salad is a free salad, amirite?

  2. Not sure why OP is complaining - this guy just narrowly faced down death, which is the only sane conclusion after he smoked his final cigarette and bravely strode to his fate. What you fail to understand is that these traffic "offenses" were part of a vast protest movement against Big Agra, whereby he cost them soda refills, spread paranoia about the safety of their parking lots, and was ever-vigilant against the police-state/junk-food nexus that would one day be his demise.

    It's a good thing you ordered that salad during his test -- his last date chose poorly and was later taken out by a two-liter soda bottle.

  3. I'd do that for a cheeseburger, Try. I am so inappropriate. ;)

  4. I'm more inclined to believe that the guy put on a dramatic ruse in order to have a good excuse to take her to a fast food place. I agree that he was mad that she didn't volunteer to pay though!


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