American Bustle

Story Sent in by Gwendolyn:

I was so excited to meet Alvin. He was American but had been raised in France, the child of State Department workers. Our first date was great and he asked me out to a movie for our second meeting.

It was a Friday night and the theater's ticket line was ridiculous. It was so long that I had half a mind to suggest doing something else. But then Alvin said, "Follow me."

He walked out of the line and made his way up further. I followed right at his heels and we melted back into the line, further up. He turned to me and said, "They do this all the time in France. It's a special French technique for making it past crowds. Just follow me."

He slipped out of the line and I followed. Sure enough, he fell back in further up once more. It seemed like nobody noticed at all. It was a bit thrilling, and he turned to me and said, "Once more. Come on."

He sidled out of line once more, but this time he seemed to have chosen poorly. As I followed him, he slipped into line in front of a big guy who wasn't having it.

"Hey!" the guy yelled, "No cuts!"

I froze where I was, but Alvin remained in line, facing away from the guy.

The guy leaned in close to Alvin and yelled at him to take a hike.

Alvin turned to the guy and asked him, "Are you talking to me?"

The guy was really furious at this point and Alvin trudged out of the line. As he passed me by he said, "It's your fault," and went on his lonely way.


  1. You missed out OP! You could have gone back to his filthy French decorated trailer and had sex with him on a pile of trash while his two twins, Simon and Theodore, watched. Twice!

  2. OP found it thrilling to cut in line in front of moms taking their kids to see Planes? Homegirl needs to get out more...

  3. Rule of thumb, if it's done in France, it is never a good idea, EVER!

  4. @Jaye - way, off, my man. We all know that peeps from France are hawt in the sack and know all the secks moves. What could have gone wrong?

    Being a dick that doesn't know how to reserve movie tickets online, however, has no geopolitical allegiance.

  5. I guess they don't have "Le Fandangeux" in France...

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. @Frizzks- LOL That was great, I love a good cone. I am female, btw.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.