Alien Trolls

Story Sent in by April:

Doug was late. Very late. As in I had already eaten about half of the complimentary bread bowl and finished an entire glass of soda late. The single text I had sent him had gone unanswered, so I decided to be generous and give him a bit more time.

When Doug showed up, he was soaking wet. As in it literally looked as though he had fallen into a swimming pool, climbed out, and ran a block to the restaurant. He dripped water... or whatever it was.

When he saw me, he breezed past a horrified waitress and sat down across from me. I was frozen in surprise, but he took my hand between his own wet ones and said, "April, I'm sorry I have to meet you like this. I was on my way here when I was thrown into a lake by aliens."

He waited for a response that I didn't give him. He went on, "What do you think?"

Before I could answer, the waitress arrived, pointed at him up and down, and said, "Sir, I'm sorry but this isn't really the right attire."

He barked at her, "It's a casual place. This isn't a five-star establishment."

She retorted, "Sir, you're soaking wet. You need to leave." He was dripping all over the floor, and nearly everyone was looking at him.

He threw down my hand, stood up, and said to no one in particular, "When the aliens come, I won't save you." He strode out.

"Check, please," I said.


  1. Oh save ussssssss! Save us all from being thrown in a lake! This date was a wet end. His dating career is all washed up. If he had flooded you with compliments, maybe he could have stemmed the rising tide of embarrassment and not sank the date.

  2. Maybe by aliens, he meant the guys hanging out in front of Home Depot...

  3. I'm a squirter so I'm definitely going to use the alien/lake explanation from now on.

  4. You are all wonderful people! Thank you.


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