Old Shallow-Bits

Story Sent in by Gilbert:

Rosemary looked deep into my eyes when we first met, but it wasn't because of anything romantic. She said, "Your eyes aren't gold."

My eyes are brown, so I agreed with her. "No, they're not."

"Your profile said they were gold."

I didn't even think that the dating site let you put "gold" as an eye color, much less give credence to the idea of me putting it down. "Sorry," I told her, "My eyes are brown. I have a heart of gold, though."

Clearly disappointed, she said, "It's fine. I can hang out with old stupid-eyes, here."

To make sure I heard her correctly, I asked her, "'Old stupid-eyes'?"

"Did I stutter?" she said. She hadn't. Oh well.

For some strange reason I went through with the date, even though she seemed as though she clearly would've rather have been anywhere else. She barely spoke, hardly looked at me, and texted almost non-stop. When the check came, you'd better believe that old stupid-eyes made her split it.


  1. Why did you go through with the date? You weren't going to get laid. Or maybe you hoped that you would somehow. Isn't that the rule, wolfie? Ah well... whatev s....

  2. This is why a date over coffee & danish is a better idea. Within one minute, she displayed she was rude and had little comprehension in reading. The man had good manners for not calling her stupid - and I doubt I would have held back.

  3. Ugh. It's horrible when somebody you think is genuinely interested turns out to be nothing but a gold-digger.

  4. The OP's stupid wasn't just eye deep if he continued on with this date. Pity it didn't work out they seem perfect for each other.


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