Over the Ex and Far Away

Story Sent in by Eric:

I offered to buy Jen any drink she wanted at a Starbucks. She asked for an iced tea with lots of sugar. When I brought it to her, she said, "Wow. My ex used to buy me iced tea all the time. You're exactly like him."

I said, "You just asked me to buy you an iced tea. Maybe that's what reminds you of him?"

She then launched into a series of questions about my, er, bedroom habits. I'm pretty candid, so I didn't mind answering most of her questions, but she seemed really, really interested. She said, "Wow. You are just like my ex in every way. He loved talking about fooling around. Couldn't shut him up about it, really."

I reminded her, "You were the one asking me 50 questions about it."

"Fine," she said, "What do you want to talk about?"

I said, "Something other than your ex, to start."

She said, "You sound just like him. He always wanted to talk about anything other than himself."

"Let's talk about coffee."

"He loved coffee."

"Let's talk about books."

"He loved books."

"What's something he didn't like?" I asked finally, a bit frustrated.

"Me," she said.

That killed the conversation. After a few moments of awkward quiet, I finished my drink, told her it was nice meeting her, and we parted.


  1. That's when you should have said:
    "You're right. I'm exactly like your ex."
    *throw over-priced coffee drink on ground*
    "Seacrest OUT!"

  2. Yep - when she said "Me", that was his cue to laugh in her face.


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