Mind over Chatter

Story Sent in by Camille:

I recognized Kevin at the bar where we said we'd meet in person. When I went up to him, he asked me who I was.

I told him that I was Camille, the girl he'd met online who he had arranged to meet him at this particular bar in person. Short term memory loss?

He said, "Camille... right..." like he really didn't remember me. "I'm sorry. When did we make those plans?"

"Last night. Remember?" I asked.

"No," he said, "But that's fine. I'm meeting someone here for a date but we can talk until then."

"That would be me. Camille. The girl you said you'd meet here. Now."

"Camille... right..."

I asked him, half-joking, "Did you get hit on the head or something?"

He laughed and said, "No, no. It's okay. We can talk for a bit."

I played along, sat next to him, and we talked for a little bit. The whole time he glanced toward the door like he was expecting someone. After not-too-long, he said that he had to go, that he had "to go meet someone at a bar for a date," and then he left. I decided to stay to finish my dinner and drink.

Minutes later, he walked back in and sat a little down the bar from me without giving me a second glance. I called to him and he looked at me as if he had never seen me before in his life. I took the hint and said, "Sorry. I thought you were someone else." I finished my meal and left him there without another word.


  1. Your dating profile needs more up-to-date photos.

  2. This does remind me of 50 First Dates, though. :)

  3. Oh op, he knew who you were, he was just expecting a really hot verison of you. he was just pretending until a hot girl name camille came into a bar.

  4. Sorry Camille, but this sounds like it was a "misleading photos" situation. Are you taking profile pictures holding the camera up at a slight downwards angle? I know that for women who are more obese it increases their chance of getting first dates, but it doesn't increase your chance of getting second dates because guys who wouldn't be attracted to you physically aren't going to suddenly become attracted to you because of your shining personality. On the contrary, they're just going to be pissed off that your photos were misleading, and you're going to have a lot more embarrassing situations like this one. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is.

  5. But is pretending to have amnesia a normal person's way of dealing with an unexpected fatty? Whatever happened to faking an emergency or having a sudden headache?

  6. Bethzebra, it's important for us to understand that different people process their emotional trauma in different ways, so there's no one "standard" way to react to the sudden shock of an unexpected fatty. Some people suffer amnesia, some people run, some people take imaginary phone calls on imaginary phones and then say they have an emergency... the possibilities are endless. What's important is to understand is that we need to come at this from a non-judgemental place of empathy. For example, I prefer to pretend that I don't speak English when I am dealing with an unexpected fatty, and that is an approach that works for ME, but I think it would be presumptuous to assume that it works for other people and it's important to be tolerant of that. Otherwise we are simply victim-blaming the person who has been unexpectedly fattified (arranged a date with a fatty), which is somewhat cruel and uncharitable to the victim.

  7. Camille is the Silence. She needs to bring an eye drive for her date next time.

  8. This is why I always tell potential dates that I'm a fat ass. That way there are no surprises. The truth shall set you free.


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