Clear and Presents Danger

Story Sent in by Dan:

Melissa at first had a big smile on her face when we met up and she was talkative, then as the date went on (we went out to dinner), her mood fell and she became less and less jovial. I asked her once or twice what was wrong, but she said it was nothing. I eventually guessed to myself that something about me had lost her interest, and she was just going through the motions.

Well, whatever. So that happens. I was still polite and did my best to keep conversation up and I even paid for dinner. She managed a halfhearted thanks. I was in a hurry to end it.

Finally, once we were about to say goodbye outside, she blurted, "You seriously forgot my gift?"

"What gift?"

She looked like she was about to cry. "It's mandatory for guys in America to bring gifts to their dates. I've never had a guy forget on me, before. Oh my God..." and she looked even more like she was about to cry.

I am a guy who was born and raised in America and I can't ever remember hearing about it being mandatory for guys to bring anything to their dates beyond a good attitude. She looked really upset and I said, "I've been on other dates and the girl hasn't demanded a gift..."

"Then they were just being polite, and I'm not demanding a gift! It's custom! You owe me a gift! Whether or not we go on another date. I can't believe you! Are you even listening to yourself?"

I wanted to be away from her fast, so I said, "I'll send you an email with the gift info. Sorry I forgot."

Of course, I did no such thing. She sent me emails every day to remind me, and I since blocked her. For all I know, three years later, she's still reminding me.


  1. A couple of years ago this would have been prime bait for a dick in the box reference.

  2. You could have given her an STD. That's the gift that keeps on giving. Or the Jelly of the Month Club, that also keeps on giving.


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