Tastes Like a Thousand Butts

Story Sent in by Rochelle:

While out to dinner with Ian, he must've checked out every single woman who walked by our table. It didn't matter if they were waitresses, patrons, young, or old. I cleared my throat a couple times to hint that I saw what he was doing, but he either didn't care or didn't notice.

After dinner, we hopped on a bus to go across town to catch a play his brother was in. While on the bus, he stared at a woman in a nearby seat. She must've noticed him, but she kept her cool and finally exited the bus at a stop before ours.

He pointed at her former seat, now empty, and asked me, "Dare me to lick her seat?"

"Uh, no."

He leaned over and licked the seat anyway. Soon after, I feigned a headache and cut the date short. He tried to kiss me goodnight, but I didn't want his bus-tongue anywhere near me.


  1. Should have dared him not to. Then you would have gotten a forfeit when he inevitably licked it anyway.

    Not sure what he had that you might have wanted... Pink eye? People want that, right?

  2. ^ After licking a bus seat, I'm not sure what he didn't have.

  3. Well, after your delicate throat-clearing and headache feigning, I'm sure he got the message that being an akaname was not the surest way to your heart, because if there's one thing you can count on from a guy that not only talks to his date about licking another gal's seat but also does said licking, it's that their ability to pick up on social cues is phenomenal.

  4. Ha! This today, after just last night I was watching a re-run of Impractical Jokers, the one where the receptionist goes over to sniff the seat of the guy after he'd gotten up to go to the bathroom.

    Well, like Ankh said, OP could have dared him to not lick the seat, and had a normal, boring date.

  5. I'd say the OP missed out on the rimming of a lifetime with Ian here. I treasure my special "just rim jobs" friend as my ass positively sparkles after a visit.


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