Tart for Tart's Sake

Story Sent in by Bob:

Kim worked in a bakery as an assistant manager. We had been on one date already when she invited me to her bakery after-hours. She promised to make me something delicious. As I waited in the darkened cafe area, she went to work making what turned out to be a tart.

She served it to me on a nice plate. It looked good on the outside, and she watched me as I took my first bite. It tasted like a fistful of flour. It was so dry on the inside that I choked. I coughed and coughed, and instead of grabbing some water or doing something helpful, Kim said, "No need for dramatics. I know it's not that bad," and she then bit into it herself.

Then the real comedy started. She spat it out in a cloud of dust and crumbs, grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby display, and drank it down, not bothering to offer me a sip. I followed suit and grabbed a bottle from the display, but before I could open it, Kim grabbed it herself and tried to tear it away from me.

"Let go!" she yelled, as if her life depended on me not taking a drink. Sadly for her, sanity proved the stronger and I ripped the bottle away, opened it, and drank down enough to save my life.

Once I was done, she said, "You pay for that. Now."

I gave her $2 for the water and left that uncomfortable situation on the spot.


  1. At least you didn't get a mouthful of yeast...

  2. She should have given you her doughnut instead. You could have made it a cream filled!

  3. This date has genuine slapstick! So much fun.

    In the spirit of ruining things, the tart reminded me of one of my favorite literary lines, from Henrich Böll's The Clown:"...[M]y heart sinks as if I were condemned to eat a whole sack of flour with a spoon."


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