Erogenous Zoning Permit

Story Sent in by Elizabeth:

Ben was an acquaintance I had known through a friend. He was a doctor. We talked for a little bit at a party, I gave him my number, and we went out to dinner together.

"Do you know what the most sensitive part of a woman's body is?" he asked me.

I thought it was either going to be a joke or a come-on. I walked into it and asked him for the answer.

"Right here," he said, and tapped the top of his head.

"The top of your head?" I asked him.

"The top of your head," he said. "Maybe you'll let me touch yours, later."


That wasn't the spot I was expecting him to say, but I guessed that maybe he had tried to tell a joke that had fallen flat. He was a bit awkward, after all.

After dinner, we went to a park and sat on a bench and out of nowhere he pressed two fingers to the top of my head. It didn't turn me on or make me feel sensitive or anything like that. It just felt like fingertips on top of my head.

He kept pressing around like he was searching for something. He finally gave up and said, "Well some women are, some aren't. I sure am, though," and then he put both of his hands to the top of his head and pressed them to it. He smiled like he was really enjoying himself.

I tried to make conversation after that. I really did. But he hardly said a word and sank deeper into his weird reverie. So I wished him a good night and went home as fast as my feet could carry me.


  1. I am always floored by peeps that are so very sure they know your secret pleasure buttons and you don't, because you haven't spent decades fingering every roll and crevice yourself.

    True story, I once got in the sack with this uber-nerd type (skinny, in physics grad school) that in the start of business time was jabbing his finger into my upper mons in an super unsexy accupressure way. I attempted to shift his hand onto anyplace more relevant, and he cocked his head in this asshole stare and said snittily,"I think I know what I'm doing, here." Jeesh.

    We dated for 6 years.

  2. @ Fizziks - I wouldn't call getting your hand stuck in that bear trap you call a vajayjay for six years "dating".

    There are definitely women that love pressing on their foreheads as an erogenous zone. Have to be careful though, it won't make them go blind but......

  3. @Architect - stuck or not stuck, it was consensual. Why nitpick?

  4. Also, Arch, it seems that our number keeps dwindling .... Devil, Howie, now Try and Steve. We have offended His Chunkiness and now he's picking us off, one by one.

  5. she said as they both turned to the delicate sound of a chainsaw cranking up in the distance.

  6. This is how it went down Fizziks, they all went to a Halloween party together (we weren't cool enough to be invited) and everyone kept asking who the guy dressed as Boba Fett was. Then at midnight came the unmasking and...Oh GOD NOOOOO!!!

  7. @Arch - hahaha fantastic! :D

    I am starting to get genuinely creeped. When it's just you and me this goes off the rails pretty quick. Someone save us!

  8. You know what, screw them! We'll have our very own party of the highest caliber! You and I can dress up as characters from the coolest movie EVER!

  9. Seriously? No other commenters?

  10. As the Architect: I'm bored goddamnit! Come and entertain me!

  11. @ Green Green - How can I describe thee? That delicate hew of lime green, that subtle aroma of sweat and dollar store perfume...so alluring. And the way you move, each step sending waves of gelatinous skin shuddering across your substantial belly.
    You know, 'cause you're fat. FAT BITCH!

    I think this lack of trolling is starting to illustrate a concerning trend. I think the internet is becoming more grown up. Please, someone restore my faith in teh trollz!

  12. Am I the only one here masturbating by furiously rubbing the top of my head to the photo where Archy & Fizziks blue themselves? Long story short, I now have a bald patch.

    May I suggest in the future Dr Ben here makes better use of that hole under the nose or any of those near where the legs join the torso. But let's face it, this is just a cry for help. Help to find his way to Chumps Men's Sauna.

  13. Oh, thank god you're alive Try!! How did you escape the chunkiest of horses??

  14. Hi, y'all. How's it going? Though I am not as clever as y'all I am still kicking. This week, I'm doing some acting, so rehearsals and such have gotten in the way of my beloved bad case of the dates. But I still have my eye on TryN2Fly and a small knife in my bosom.

  15. Snap, perfect match Tanette, I like to keep a bucket of chicken in my ample bossom, between us we could survive a whole week.
    Now, I escaped Mr C Horse, sounds very aquatic that way don't you think, by simply staying airborne. It's a Griffin thing.

  16. This is awesome: it sounds like somebody tried to give Ben the good advice that the most erogenous zone a woman has is her brain, and he misunderstood it because instead of saying "brain" they said "the most erogenous zone a woman has is right here" and pointed to her head. Now he constantly feels around women's heads trying to find their g-spot.

  17. And Fizziks, if you genuinely want more commenters, try making fewer inside jokes all the time. I took a break from ABCotD for several months and now it seems the whole comment site is just inside jokes that nobody gets except the handful of people who were there when the original joke occurred. That makes the comments section really inaccessible to newcomers and limits their participation.

    Not that I'm complaining, I just thought I'd explain it since you were speculating.

  18. Golly, my lupine friend, I wouldn't know anything about taking a break from this site, nor anything about how to start my own jokes.


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