Sweet Dreams Are Made of Sleaze

(Images are the story. Click here to find out why on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Deirdre:

It was a first date dinner on a Friday night with Charles. He was nice, but not too talkative and I sensed that something distracted him.

I asked him what was the matter and he said, "When I was five I fell down a well. And I've been dreaming there ever since."

It didn't make much sense to me. "A well?"

He nodded. "I fell down the well and have been trapped in there ever since. You and this restaurant and everything else are all just part of my dream."

I asked, "Why don't you wake up and call for help?"

"It doesn't work like that."

"Can you make anything happen? It is your dream, after all—"

"It doesn't work like that, either."

"So because you're actually a five-year-old, I can't really even think about fooling around with you. Because of course, that would be sick."

He gave me a look. "I might be trapped in that well, but it's still just a dream so maybe we could try it and see what happens."

I rolled my eyes at him. "It doesn't work like that."

After dinner, he excused himself to the restroom to see if he could go "wake himself up." After that apparently didn't work, he said he was going to hurry home to do some meditation. Whether or not he ever woke up remains a mystery to me.


  1. Yeah, I think we all knew what he meant by "meditation" FapFapFap

  2. OP, you are clever. I like that. :)

  3. Ah, yes, the ol' "use my vadge as a motivational tool" trick... gotta love it...

  4. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a dream... but then the cops arrest me and say I can't walk around in my underwear in a classroom... wtf?

  5. Someone should tell him he was never trapped there anymore. cause I don't think he going to get any action with that five year old thinking. Come charles! wake up!!!!!! so you can get some.

  6. he's so tortured! tortured and darkly mysterious. he needs to find a emo chick that's trapped in her own 5 year old closet.

  7. Blue, that's the same way you woke me up this morning!

  8. @Cap Awesome - bet Tourist will be happy to play matchmaker on that scenario and find the perfect one for him.

  9. Find this guy a woman that is really just a little girl locked in a closet? Done. Why don't you give me a hard one next time? Yeah yeah, I know, that's what SHE said, bwahahahaha heehee haha ROFL LMFAO OMG LOL WTF BBQ etc

  10. @TryN2Fly - I was at a Halloween party not long ago, and as with most Halloween parties, there was the slutty cop, the slutty nun, the slutty nurse, etc. I saw there a girl dressed as a slutty Wednesday Adams. What kind of person says "I want to dress up as a slutty version of a creepy 8-year-old girl?" Hump-Day Adams, indeed.

  11. First crush as a kid: Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams.

  12. Well steve, you had to get up for work anyway! I can't work four jobs on top of the three i am working @ now.


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