The Less-Than-Artful Dodger

Story Sent in by Christopher:

Of all places, Linda and I met at a gas station. Her pump was giving her trouble and I offered to help her out (the pump ended up being broken). But I got her number out of it, so it wasn't a total loss.

Our first night out together, I took her to dinner and dancing, and we had a blast.

Second time out, I took her to an outdoor concert and then, when it rained, we ducked into a local university's art museum. She seemed to know a lot about the artwork and told me all sorts of anecdotes and stories about the art and artists.

We then happened upon a small but impressive painting by an artist whose name I've forgotten. Linda gushed about it. Then, in the middle of her talk, she popped it off the wall.

An alarm blared and two guards were on us in seconds. They demanded that she give them the painting and told us to leave or the cops would be called.

Linda said, "This artwork belongs to everybody. You can't keep it for yourselves."

She ultimately relented and gave them the painting. As we shuffled away outside in the rain, she said, "This museum sucks. They just horde the art to themselves." So saying, she turned around and marched back in. I stayed where I was.

A moment later, the pair of guards escorted her out and said that they were calling the cops on us. I prevailed upon Linda to leave, and we lay low in a nearby cafe.

After a bit, she said, "Coast is clear," and she left. I followed her out until I realized that she was heading right back to the museum. I stopped following her, but waited outside as she entered, to see what would happen.

She never emerged. I went home and didn't hear from her anymore.


  1. I admire Linda's commitment. Most people would have given up after getting tossed out of an establishment for attempted grand larceny but she swallowed her pride and went right back in - twice! That's a ride or die chick right there.

    Linda could have been the Bonnie to the OP's Clyde but the OP had to get a case of the morals. A real man would have grabbed one end of the painting or kicked the security guard in the nuts. Where are all the Real Men??

  2. Sadly, this is not the first ABCOTD girl to attempt to steal paintings from a museum...


  3. Some say that, on dark and stormy nights, you can still hear Linda's voice echoing through the museum halls...."This artwork belongs to everybody. You can't keep it for yourselves." Whoooooooooooo!

  4. @Steve: Love that one. ANGER MAKES ME HUNGRY.

  5. I'm comin' with you TryN2Fly! ;)

  6. I think ABCotD should establish a foundation tho help those poor women like TryN2Fly afflicted with EVS. Please, won't you give?

  7. Is Masturbating and then shoplifting a good defense if you got caught of just having 'sticky fingers' syndrome?

  8. Thank you Tanette, thank you Yhe Architect. My EVS can get so chronic & severe my art collection rivals national galleries. Please give cock generously to help eradicate this terrible disease..

  9. Am I allowed to say I'm falling for you TryN2Fly?


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