Darkest Darkness

Story Sent in by Ginger:

Among my friends, Zachary was known as a player. He had dated at least half of the women I knew, and had expressed a lingering interest in the other half, including myself. I always laughed it off, but one summer I was fresh out of a breakup. When he called me to ask if I wanted to hang out, I didn't think it would do any harm, as long as I kept in mind who he was and what he likely wanted.

He took me out to a great dinner and complimented me the whole time. He also took any opportunity to touch me. I have to confess that I didn't even know what I wanted, aside from the fact that I just kind of wanted to be wanted. As for Zachary, there was no doubt at all as to what he wanted.

We left my car behind and took a drive in his car to a wooded spot outside of town. I guessed that he'd put the moves on me, and he did. It was fun for about a minute. Then he asked me, "I was wondering if we could try something."

"Like what?"

He kissed me again and said, "Like me taking off your clothes and leaving you out here, then me driving by again and 'happen to find you.' Here. Without clothes."

I had to suppress hysterical laughter. I joked, "You know what would really get me going? If I did that to you."

He paused, seemingly falling in love with the idea. "You mean if you found me naked on the side of the road?"

I laughed again, positive he wouldn't go through with it.

Next thing I knew, he was throwing off his clothes. "You know how to drive stick?" he asked.

I did, but I said, "You don't really have to do this. I was kidding. Really. I was kidding."

He was way too turned on to hear me. He stripped off everything and jumped out of his car. We were in a pretty deserted area, but that still didn't mean that there wasn't a chance that someone wouldn't drive by and see this. I just wanted it over with as fast as possible, so I climbed into the driver's seat, started the car, and drove down the road about 100 feet. I turned around and came back to him, rolling down the window and asking, barely able to hold it together, "Come here often?"

He grinned, but then he said, "It'll be better if you drive away so that I can't see you. Like you're really just happening upon me here."

Growing desperate to end this game, I said, "Fine," and pulled away, down the road, turned a corner, and returned back.

I didn't even have time to say anything. He jumped into the car and said, "Get going, now. Move!"

I drove down the street, noting that he was hurrying to put his clothes back on, which I hadn't expected. He said, "Something in the woods said my name."


"Just drive us back to your car. I've got to get out of here." He glanced behind us at the darkness and put his head in his hands. "Oh my God..."

"Something said your name?"

"Just drive!"

I drove us back to where I was parked. He leaped out of the car as fast as he could, nearly shoving me out of the way to make it to the driver's side. Without a goodnight, he jumped in, slammed his door shut, and sped away.

I drove home without incident. I rarely saw Zachary after that. It was as if he was avoiding events if he knew I'd also be there.


  1. I think we all know what the " something" that called Zachary's name was: Chunky Horse.

    That's right. Chunky Horse is back and now he's scaring the shit out of young lovers who venture into the woods to play sex games. Steve is gonna scorch his shorts.

  2. "I have to confess that I didn't even know what I wanted, aside from the fact that I just kind of wanted to be wanted. As for Zachary, there was no doubt at all as to what he wanted."

    Best. Sentences. Ever.

  3. Also, I'm so glad Chunky Horse is back. We missed ya, big horse!

  4. Chunky Horse III - Deathday Suit.

    A young lothario pays the ultimate price for his perversions.

  5. Is Zachary's real name "Snort" or "Neigh?" If so, then it was definitely Chunky Horse!

  6. 'Ol Snortneigh McGee.

  7. This story actually kind of freaked me out. This guy was way too horny to just give up. Something really had to scare him. Note to Zachary, don't drop acid before being left naked on the side of the road. Just an FYI.

  8. Chunky Horse IV - Maul 'n' Oats.

  9. Chunky Horse II - Back in the Saddle Again

  10. I'm so happy I went walking through the woods at night and met my beau Chunky Horse... *Perfect Relationship!*

  11. Chunky Horse overlooks my trolling of internet dating sites for men to compliment me, and I over look his incessant chainsawing of nekkid teens... *Perfect Relationship!*

  12. The great thing about dating Chunky Horse, is after a night out at the bar, you'll always have a ride home...


  13. OP, I'm really happy you were aware that you were desperate and rebounding instead of victimizing yourself to gain sympathy... so props to you.

    The statement, "He was way too turned on to hear me," and the fact that he even asked you to do it a second time shows that he was down and ready to go through with this. By the sound of it, he was legitimately terrified rather than embarrassed and I don't think he pulled something like this out of his ass. Maybe something really was out there... Or maybe he was just dosin' as Arc said.

  14. Am I the only one around here that wants to see Steve prancing around naked wearing a horsey tail butt plug?

  15. Chunky Horse V: The Legend of Curly's Gold

  16. Chunky Horse VI: The Chunkening


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.