Mountain Don't

Story Sent in by Barry:

I was out to dinner with Sandy when she asked our waitress for a Mountain Dew. The waitress replied that they didn't have Mountain Dew.

Sandy excused herself, left, and returned a few minutes later with a can of Mountain Dew. The waitress descended quickly, telling Sandy that she couldn't bring outside drinks to the restaurant. Sandy said, "But you don't have Mountain Dew. Why should I be punished?"

After a moment or two of back-and-forth, Sandy agreed to put the can away. When the waitress left, though, Sandy took the can out again and poured its contents onto the floor.

"That'll teach them," she said, "Come on." She stood up and left, not waiting for me. Thinking that the waitress would find me back there and blame me for the mess, I left pretty quickly, myself. We hadn't ordered anything yet, so it wasn't like we stiffed the restaurant or something.


  1. You two sound like you were made for each other. Nice job just leaving the mess without an apology nor a tip for having to clean up your dates mess.

  2. Ditto what Jaye said.

    Find the server, say, "First date. She's crazy." Hand the server a $10 or $20.

  3. Pour mountain dew on the floor of a restaurant, and then run out? Sounds like a delightfully appropriate thing to do!

    Especially for a girl who enjoys having sex in a trailer. On a pile of garbage. While the twin watches. Twice.

  4. I can think of a few reasons why Sandy should be punished.

    1. Being a cunt.
    2. Mountain Dew addict.
    3. Dinner on a first date. (That ones for you Steve)
    4. Dating Barry, who clearly has to sit down to pee.
    5. Dating someone called Barry.
    6. Not holding hands while defecating.
    7. Not yelling out "Number 3, Number 3" while in the bathroom.
    8. Not letting the twins double team you.
    9. Not being a lawyer or an architect.
    10. Having a pussy that looks and smells like a rotting ham fell off a ten story building.

    Let me know if I missed anything.

  5. Barry should also be punished. This date was only bad for the poor waitstaff who had to deal with these two. Also, TryN2Fly, you are flying for sure! Kudos!

  6. I'm gonna go play solitaire now.

  7. @ TryN2Fly - You forgot:

    11. For wasting perfectly good Mountain Dew.

  8. I like girls with spunk. You should have asked her to pure Mt.Dew all over her body ;-) Na-mean?

  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

  10. I disagree with calls for OP to tip but he should have been polite and told the server about the mess.

  11. He should have left her name and phone number, but no tip. It's not his responsibility to pay for her mess, but he should give them a way to find and identify her. The restaurant can hunt her down or ban her for it if they care enough to.


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