The Wrong Idea

Story Sent in by Howard:

Tia and I met online. I took her out on four dates. I paid for most (but not all) of our meals. I brought her flowers, once. On the fifth date, after a night of dinner and drinks, I took her dancing at a club, and while there, I tried to kiss her.

She turned away from me and asked, "What are you doing?"

I answered her question with a question: "Is it too soon?" I didn't really think it was. The whole five-dates thing.

She said, "We're just friends. Did you get the wrong idea?"

I replied, "We met on a dating site, we've been out five times, I've brought you flowers... do you have the wrong idea?"

She said, "I thought you were just being nice."

"No. I thought this was going somewhere."

She laughed at that, then excused herself to go to the bathroom. When she didn't come back for a little while, I wondered if she'd be back at all. I took a walk around the club to see if I could spot her, and sure enough, she had somehow ingratiated herself among a group of people I had never seen before. She was smiling and speaking to one guy in particular, their heads close together.

I tapped her shoulder and told her that I was heading out and that I wished her a good night.

She said, "Okay," and I turned and headed for the exit, even after she called out, "Wait!" behind me.

I had almost exited when she caught up with me and said, "Don't be mad. You can come over and meet my new friends!"

I said, "No, thanks."

She pulled out a $5 bill and said, "Go get yourself a drink and cool off. If you're going to be a spoiled sport, the least you could do to make it up to me is wait until I'm done and drive me home."

Drinks at this place averaged $12 each. I thought for a long moment about taking her money, but instead I took the high road.

"Keep it," I told her, "I'll wait for you."

She smiled, didn't give me a thank-you, and skittered back to her new pack of buddies.

I left.

She eventually sent me a long, rambling, drunk text, the essence of which was, "You left? Now you see why I didn't want us to date: you're obviously an immature idiot."

That must be it.


  1. OP, she was a complete tool to you. That being said, what you did was morally reprehensible. It was never said if she had a car at this "club" or not, but what if she had tried to drive after a night of hard drinking? She thought you would be her DD and you left. Kind of a dick move. You should have sacked up and told her to let one of her new friends drive her home.

  2. Meh, my carmudgeony self doesn't like clubs, and would most likely never date a 'club girl' to begin with.

    This girl is just a subspecies of the dinner wh0re, so no loss there.

    And now, I will wait for the "OMG, OP should have driven her home! Why would he leave poor little dinner wh0re with strangers!" posts...

  3. 5 dates before trying for a kiss = teh geyz.

    Nice "high road" ya got there, hoss. Might as well have taken her $5 too while you were at it.

  4. I am not sure, but free money... no one on this site wants it. High road.. lol! I'd have given the 5$ to some drunk frat boy in the crowd and dared him to go up to her and say "omg.. you slut, you gave me crabs!"

  5. Note to guys: If you don't get so much as a peck on the cheek by date #3, nothing is ever gonna happen. That's a general rule of course but seriously, five dates and not so much as a kiss? I'd love to know why the OP kept asking her out because I'm sure Tia's arrogance had to have reared its ugly head at some time during those first four dates.

    Oh, and OP totally should have kept the $5. Screw the high road.

  6. This chick was playing the OP. She knew what his intentions but wasn't interested. She just led him along with him paying for their outings until he wanted it to move further. Going off, meeting another guy she seemed interested in, and telling the OP to wait around to give her a ride means she's a bitch. He was under no obligation, after treating her that way, to be her personal taxi cab. It might have been a "dick" move in his part, but she had committed "dick" moves prior to being left there.

    She has new friends that tolerate that attidue, let them drive her home. Also, I wonder if she was one of those "dinner whores" everyone has been talking about.

  7. Should not have driven her home. She is a grown ass woman. (emphasis on the ass part) It probably would have been better if he had just told her that he wasn't going to, though. And yeah, Steve, clubs do suck and I've thought that since I was a youngin'.

  8. 5 dates: no kiss, flowers bought, most dinners paid for and then left him to hang out with others at a club? Cuuuuuuuunt! There is NO way he should have ensured she had a ride home. Cabs, buses, new friends or walking were all other options.

  9. Bull. Treat someone like dirt, you should expect to be treated like dirt in return. She could either use her new friends to get a ride home, or use the $5 she still had to call a cab.

    *If* she drove there herself, it would be her own fault for imbibing too much and getting behind the wheel. She's an adult, she it should be her own responsibility to find a safe means home.

  10. She is an Adult. She can call herself a gmddamn taxi cab if she renders herself unable to drive.

    Now, if he had agreed, at any time, to be her DD, that would be different.

  11. Well done OP, I'm glad you had a backbone and didn't let yourself be taken advantage of.

  12. @ Ashley - He didn't have a backbone, or did you miss that? He didn't tell her that what she was doing was wrong. The only speaking up for himself was telling her he thought this was going somewhere, which she laughed off. Hell, he didn't even let her know he was pissed. He pulled a dick move telling her he would wait for her, then he ran away. How much more of a chickenshit could he possibly be?

  13. I think he would have been more of a chickenshit if he had waited for her like a good little boy.

    She laughed at his thought that their relationship was going somewhere, walked away to go hang out with strangers, and then offered him a pittance for a drink and insult him.

    So, to hell with her. She treated him with zero respect, so good for him for returning that right back to her.

  14. @ Jonathan - He definitely shouldn't have waited around for her. He should have sacked up and been honest. "This relationship isn't going anywhere and I'm not waiting around to take you home. Have a good night." How hard is it to be an adult and say what you feel? He was a chickenshit for avoiding confrontation, not being honest, and running away. She didn't deserve any courtesy and was a total waste of skin but if he wanted to really "take the high road", he would have been an adult instead of a chicken.

  15. I'll agree he definitely did not take the high road that he spoke of in the tale.

    But since she treated him like dirt, I have no qualms with him saying that he would wait for her and then skip out. It's no high road, but sometimes, fuck the high road.

  16. @ Architect -- Amen! Full context really makes the point :)

  17. Clearly the OP wasn't planning on being the DD in the first place since he said that drinks averaged $12 when she gave him a $5. If she needed him to be the DD that conversation should have happened before they went out or at least when he tried to leave.

    I don't think we have enough info to assume that she had no way to get home safely.

  18. Ashley: Didn't let himself be taken advantage of?? He went on FIVE dates without even a kiss!

  19. You're a man with a vision.

  20. This girl is a full on Cuntinator. She is incredibly rude, disrespectful, and probably has the mental capacity of a billy goat crossbred with Kim Kardashian.

    And you know she ended up having her fiesta bowl plowed by all of her "new friends."

  21. Yeah, badgerdaddy, that's how much drinks cost in the big city. Seriously, downtown Chicago, twelve bucks is about right.

  22. If this was the high road, I would have loved to hear about the low road!

  23. I think that OP *did* take the high road. By leaving Tia stranded, he increased the likelihood that she would off herself in a drunk driving accident, thus reducing the probability that any of us would ever have to deal with her bullshit. The man is a saint!


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