Story Sent in by Alex:

Samantha and I had plans to decorate her family Christmas tree. She pulled out boxes of ornaments and we went to work.

Rather, she went to work. Whenever I reached for an ornament, each of which was a varying degree of breakable, she pushed me aside gently and said, "No, let me. I've got it."

She wouldn't let me hang up a single ornament, despite all my efforts. Every time I asked her, "Can I help?" she replied, "You are helping. Stay out of the way."

Finally, later on, when her parents and brothers came to see "our" handiwork, they mentioned what a nice job we did.

"I did," Samantha said, "I did all the work. Alex just pretty much stood there."

I said, "You wouldn't let me hang up a thing!"

"Liar!" she yelled, right in front of her family, "Get the hell out!"

You could've heard a pin drop. Her father, who was a seriously nice guy, began, "Sam, honey—"

"I mean it," she said, not taking an eye off me, "Out!"

I gave a brief nod to her family and left. Her brother, who was a friend of mine, emailed me the next day to tell me that Samantha spent the rest of the day bad-mouthing me, and that he felt as though she'd come back to her senses in time.

I didn't stick around to find out.


  1. You both seem like control freaks. She invites you over, then won't let you partake and you insist on helping when she is insisting you shouldn't. Sounds like a fun time.

    1. How is him not decorating being 'a control freak'?
      Logic fail there...

      The only person at fault, at least in this depiction, is Samantha.

    2. Since when did asking someone "Can I help?" qualify as "insisting"? By your logic, anyone who ever offers to lend a hand is an insistent control freak. You must be a dream for servers.

      Waitress: May I help you, ma'am?

      Jaye: How very dare you insist on helping me! I will not be insisted upon by a control freak! I insist that I speak to your manager post haste!

    3. Hi, Samantha.
      Next time, try to be more subtle.

  2. Jaye, what do you think the OP should have done?

  3. You know what doesn't sound like fun either? Christmas at Jaye's house where only one person is allowed to do all the decorating and everyone is gets the same title regardless of how insane they act.

  4. Yeah, she really didn't want your help after you took the Rudolph ornament and had it pseudo-sodomize the Santa ornament.

    1. I can think of one Christmas cartoon I won't be watching this year...


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